I Want More Power

Trash
$0
Negative bank accounts
No food in the house
You look like your mother in those Chuckssssss

Why do you smile so much when things aren't alright
Why are you so alive
I'm pretty sure they look down on you too
Not as low as you weigh yourself

Fuck em
Fuck every single piece of soul shit in here
All you fucking shitbags who don't treat me the way I have/would treat you

Its the type of insult that breeds contempt
But i want more than that
I want to be better again
I want to be better again than all of you
As I once was

And when I was so high and treated you
All so fair and well and nice and right
You took my gifts and smiled
Secretly harboring your disdain
I guess
But I didn't do that to show you up

If you needed help
I gave it to you
Because we're all out here by ourselves just about

Yet one gets a hand out and forgets who was there
Giving rides and making sure you got their on time
When you didn't have shit

I can't even get a ride to the emergency room
To make sure I don't have permanent
Medical induced glaucoma

Who am I when I can't pull my weight
Worthless I see now
That's okay
I've been valued at less before I knew how to love as
Deep as my mother

Alone in my room
I said quietly too myself
"I want more power"
And I meant that more than I've ever wanted
To live


I've typed so much and lost my train of thought
Good bye

Later Days, Longer Nights

Punchline

Leaving the gym I had a thought;
what if there isn't a hell?
What if, God showed you how much He/She/It loved you by granting you
eternal life. Eternal time. A forever with everyone and everything you've
ever loved that has moved
on to
the other side.
No matter the sin. No matter
the history.
Through murder, suicide, and natural causes
you got there.
God gave you all the time in the word to praise Him/Her/It
and
even if you were wrong or right,
it didn't matter because you were shown the answer at the end.

We go through life worried about making poor life choices and
some of us
don't tilt our
pretty
little heads and see that
they're inevitable anyway.

So what if that was the punchline?
God gave us what we were afraid to lose.
Or Buddha.
Or whatever is your religion.

Later Days, Longer Nights

Flood Me

Today in the
slow fade generation,
who really talks
?
Most things said are
lost in
this mist;
it's heavy and dark with a flooding
dread
Words that never felt a
single sun ray
in their whole life
Removed from God's grace
cold,
bred from deception, lacking
heart;
whatever meaning is only
code from every dead, lost
language
compiled into a paragraph with no
punctuation

Today there's always
an ulterior motive so
the insight of our words, words
that we use through
conversation,
is lost.
We don't trust each other from the beginning,
so when can we start?


Later Days, Longer Nights

Drama King

I've been called dramatic
so much,
It makes me question
how I value a person's
worth

I find interest in
the mundane,
the little things,
routines we feel compelled
to repeat
For all the bullshit
that's in between
we aren't concerned with
The End;
we know how it ends

This isn't
about flair or
being too much, its
bigger than that
Doesn't anyone
consider it a curse to
feel the way this life
feels to you?
Like a kiss in the
dark, it's only
seen by you;
she never pulled away, but
you're in two spaces
separated
by
a
galaxy
of emotions,
each a minor
tick on this spectrum,
a blackboard of
intensity
You can't share that experience
You can't share any experience

So,
you can't even start
to process how
I perceive
anything
Neither could I you
So,
if you cant get it
at a cellular level,
then maybe if i
blow it up we
could possibly
be on the same
page for once,
before The End
Maybe it could be
the first time ever
in history
People simply disregard
my colorful attempts
"You're so dramatic"

I don't know
which
is the folly
of man:
that I continue to try
or
I'm always dismissed


Later  Days, Longer Nights