No Frills

I got laid off.

I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills next month if I don't get a job.

A girl who likes me doesn't turn me on emotionally.

The girl I do like is bad for me and is wholly immature.

I'm sleeping with a married woman with kids.

I don't know what to do next in my life.

I wanna move out of Philly.

For all this time that I felt neutral in my emotions, I'm starting to realize that it was sadness

and

 I had to call my mum Wednesday before I did something bad.

Constant sadness, day in..night out.

Hasn't started this month, its been this way for a while.

Before graduation.

Before the break up.

Long ass time ago.

I want to feel like someone loves me or that I'm still doing right in the middle of this shit-storm of wrong.

Tired of putting up an act.

All this is the furthest thing from manly and I don't give a fuck.

I've always sucked it up and kept moving.

But you weren't there Wednesday. You didn't see me.

It caught up when nothing was happening.

Today, I don't want to think, I just want to run.

Read The Lines

I don't want to do something I can't come back from

The Sun comes around 

Bounce off the white walls nearby

Wake up

This feels like the day I'll fail

At keeping everything together

Grab my phone

Text mom

Tell someone

Allthesecretsandsadnessbutisitreallyasecretwhenyou'vebeenactingforsolong

Gotta keep it up

This won't even come out the way he wants

Fucked up atoms composed

Discarded, then ultimately retarded

He needs to sleep until it goes away

Then we can go out

Smoking cigarettes with the next girl from Boston

At the beach it's divine

I wasted it on her

Remember you said you would only come here with the girl you planned to marry?

Now look at you

Tanned and none the brighter

Her insecurity is a delight

I'm seeing an unlikely queen

She sees plagues

I almost called the other one to tell her that it wouldn't work out

We'd speak but I wouldn't tell her everything

We could laugh but it wouldn't be all of my joy

Cry but I'd hold some of my tears

But I can't do that 

I'd be more alone

Dwindling dollars don't make a man desperate

You were in this spot the whole time

Here with me

I've caressed your face while you were asleep

Kisses in the dark

Right on the side of your eye

The address is a cave

My good is tortured by my hunger and thirst

Into evil

It isn't evil though

On 8/25 I tried to bring it the to front

Ended up burying it 

"Just forget I said anything. Sorry to bother you."

Got em

Modern Swinger

Running out of time
From my empire of dirt.