So, its Christmas now.
Happy birthday Jesus and God, I havent lost the true meaning of the day in my crippled life.
I dont know why I was up, but I was.
I happened to catch the last bit of Harold and Kumar 2 and was very interested in Kumar's little math poem and he said something about not wanting to be a root 3. As most people should know, root 3 is indivisbile. Its just always a root 3 and like Kumar noted, is "lonely".
This is the first Christmas where I havent felt any spirit.
Aside from the fact that I wont be getting any presents (Im moving, but I didnt really care for presents),
my mum is going to work Christmas day.
I'll wake up alone.
She always used to work Christmas day and I just repressed my childhood sadness, until it revisted my soul today.
She told me around midday and I just felt detached from then on.
I have, in a sense, been alone on Christmas (until I met up with my other family members later on) since I was 10.
It took today and Kumar's little poem for me to realize that Im a fuckin' root 3.
I have friends and family, but theres just something Im missing.
I have no idea what it is.
A person? Object? No idea.
I feel like a black sheep coming home.
Back to the root of my problem,
but I havent solved it.
I know it wont be long, but when I think in retrospect its been a big gap.
I've mostly been a root 3 all my life.
Sometimes, I filled the gap with a girlfriend, but I never had a normal one of those.
They were always further then I could reach.
Maybe I need something around me,
something I can hold when I feel and not long for.
Oh well... I'll just bite these bullets and do what I do best:
become numb beyond belief.
Merry Christmas
Later Days
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sometimes I Forget
Hey,
Its been some time. Im home for winter break and Im patiently awaiting my acceptance letters from Bowie State and UMBC. Aside from that, I've just been with the Gang and doing nothing. I love every second of it!
Recently, I created a quote that has been plaguing my mind because its true and cryptic.
"Sometimes, I forget how many lives Im living."
Its true. I have about 3 or more lives Im living and they never really collide. They dont have the opportunity to. I dont believe any of them are a secret; they are just seperate.
Im the same person in all of them...just about.
When I evaluate it all in stride, I wonder if any of them are a lie?
Probably not, yet ya never know.
The best deceiver tends to be yourself,
but blahhhhhhhhh!
Got that out my head. Im ready to party!
Later DAys
Its been some time. Im home for winter break and Im patiently awaiting my acceptance letters from Bowie State and UMBC. Aside from that, I've just been with the Gang and doing nothing. I love every second of it!
Recently, I created a quote that has been plaguing my mind because its true and cryptic.
"Sometimes, I forget how many lives Im living."
Its true. I have about 3 or more lives Im living and they never really collide. They dont have the opportunity to. I dont believe any of them are a secret; they are just seperate.
Im the same person in all of them...just about.
When I evaluate it all in stride, I wonder if any of them are a lie?
Probably not, yet ya never know.
The best deceiver tends to be yourself,
but blahhhhhhhhh!
Got that out my head. Im ready to party!
Later DAys
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Johnny, Come Back Home
Its 5:56.
Im up, packing my stuff.
Man, NSU had a few lessons for me.
Im going to miss the people who let me into their life,
let me into their dorm,
dranked a cup with me,
and smoked with me.
This world is after us and I only hope we all just get what we want from it in the end.
I love, like actually love, all my friends here.
Not my associates, not my hookups, just
my "friends".
From Lou, to Brian, Tavon,Gabe, Quiton, Ty, John, Kevin, all the people man...
Im going to miss yall.
Its 6:09.
Im up, packing.
Getting ready to go.
Good luck comrades.
Later Days
Im up, packing my stuff.
Man, NSU had a few lessons for me.
Im going to miss the people who let me into their life,
let me into their dorm,
dranked a cup with me,
and smoked with me.
This world is after us and I only hope we all just get what we want from it in the end.
I love, like actually love, all my friends here.
Not my associates, not my hookups, just
my "friends".
From Lou, to Brian, Tavon,Gabe, Quiton, Ty, John, Kevin, all the people man...
Im going to miss yall.
Its 6:09.
Im up, packing.
Getting ready to go.
Good luck comrades.
Later Days
Monday, December 6, 2010
The List
Hey there kids.
Tonight is a special entry.
Tonight I have compiled a list containing the names of ten females
that have made me change my views on ALL females that I will ever meet and what they taught me about myself and the elusive gender called "women".
They are not in any particular order.
I promise not to write in Jill or Iesha for those who know who they are and what they did.
They're too easy.
Im not one for suspense, so here we go:
10. Benee Morris
My ex. My cold flame. My second to best mistake. Benee taught me that in trusting a female, that you leave yourself open to vulnerability. She taught me that when you give your all to someone, you have nothing when they actually take it. Her lies coupled with the fact that I really loved her made it hard to really trust anyone from that point on. I mean somebody answer me this: How can you trust a chick that said she aborted your baby, when in all actuality she wasnt telling the truth? How can you trust a female that said she couldn't hang out with you on a weekend because she was going home to DC, when she really was getting fucked by a druggie and letting him bust on her face?
9. Spencer Renee Nixon
Long time friend. REAL long mane. Known her since 7th grade and when we went out, I can say it was a joke. We never saw each other because of distance, but I love how she gave me the chance to rekindle what we had back in the day. I love even more how when I denied the opportunity for some time and then took it, she basically said "nevermind" by getting back with her boyfriend who she had complained about the same night she gave the offer. Bullshit much? She taught me not to take anything for full, even if it is the shit dreams are made of.
8. Brianca Day
This chick here lol. I was in like maybe 10th or 9th grade, I cant really remember, but what I do know is the lesson. That girl...she taught me that no matter how nice a personality I have, how long and deep a conversation can be on the phone, and how right I treat a female, CLOTHES MAKE A PERSON, A PERSON DOESNT MAKE CLOTHES. She flatly bashed my style choice and chose to either take my money and help me go shop or just not talk to me anymore. When I didnt want to change my style, she chose to change our relationship from talking to non-existent.
7. Nisa Little
7 is my favorite number. She got this number for a favorite reason. Unlike most of the other females on this list, Nisa is different. I see Nisa just about everyday at Norfolk State. Nisa was suppose to be the future honestly. She was a little more than what I was used to, but I was willing to work it out. We met in the last few months of my senior year and hung out; I took her to eat and chilled with her when she wanted because I never wanted her to stay in the house. She hated it there, so I tried my best to give her an escape. I saw her off to prom and really took a genuine interest in who she was and what she stood for. Then she went to Norfolk State for summer school. She called me over summer break and we chit chatted for some time and I was excited to be going to school with someone I liked. By the time I got there, she wasn't the same person. I didn't know who she was. I still don't know. Nisa taught me that good things go can astray any day.
6. Natalie S.
Well uhm, she only taught me that no matter how much a chick offers sex, an annoying laugh can be her downfall.
5. Amellia Smith
Amellia, amellia. I can honestly say she was the first attractive female that ever talked to me. I guess quirky conversations and long nights on the phone can get you far huh?
Wrong.
She used me and had me to buy her some Vans. If she taught me anything, its never give money to these broads. They just walk on you with brand name shoes you brought.
4. Ashley O.
Mane, she was a topic of interest when she was brought up in conversation, but that's rare now. I knew her before that. In 9th grade, I knew an Ashley that was sweet, cool, and easy to talk to. She just wanted to be loved and I could've been the one to give that to her, yet I let my friends sway my judgment. The first thing Ashley taught me was to take the moment and give what you feel is right; never let anyone change your opinion or influence your decision.
The Ashley we know of now is a different page. I dont know what got into her, but this Ashley taught me only one thing: corruption runs smoother than salvation.
3. Allison Rodriguez
One of the first girls who liked me when I started Towson. She was a tomboy and didnt take my shit. I was in Heaven <3
Aside from that, she was already in a relationship. An abusive one. He was a gang banger who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself or how to treat a lady. No matter how many times I tried to give her an escape, she always went back to him. Allison taught me that I can't save them all.
2. Janae Anderson
Wow....can I say a headache? I dont remember how I started even talking to her, but she was my equal: crafty, cunning, sly, and brilliant. Now Im some levels up, yet I do remember when she was in her prime. When I tried to talk to her, she was in a "I only talk to college guys" phase. Later on during our friendship, she hinted at a possible hook-up in Ocean City for senior break. She started acting like a bitch and people who know me know I dont take shit, sooo yea lol, but Janae is forbidden fruit. She taught me that I can't sink my teeth into them all.
1. Essence Perkins
The lasting legacy... far from a memory, but never forgotten. Essence and I were together for a brief period in my junior year and she was a great girlfriend. I would hold her hand in public and everything seemed right. I felt at home. I looked at other guys in the mall trying to get girl's numbers and I smirked because I didnt have to hunt for my good thang. This was short lived though. The wild was calling me and during that point in my life, I wasn't mature enough to realize that she was better than my instincts.
I went back to the wild. I fucked it up between us. I wanted to hunt and have a lot of meat on my plate. Pushing her away and then breaking it off.... these were my actions. I regret it to this day honestly. She taught me that anyone can get caught up in the game. Anyone.
Later Days
Tonight is a special entry.
Tonight I have compiled a list containing the names of ten females
that have made me change my views on ALL females that I will ever meet and what they taught me about myself and the elusive gender called "women".
They are not in any particular order.
I promise not to write in Jill or Iesha for those who know who they are and what they did.
They're too easy.
Im not one for suspense, so here we go:
10. Benee Morris
My ex. My cold flame. My second to best mistake. Benee taught me that in trusting a female, that you leave yourself open to vulnerability. She taught me that when you give your all to someone, you have nothing when they actually take it. Her lies coupled with the fact that I really loved her made it hard to really trust anyone from that point on. I mean somebody answer me this: How can you trust a chick that said she aborted your baby, when in all actuality she wasnt telling the truth? How can you trust a female that said she couldn't hang out with you on a weekend because she was going home to DC, when she really was getting fucked by a druggie and letting him bust on her face?
9. Spencer Renee Nixon
Long time friend. REAL long mane. Known her since 7th grade and when we went out, I can say it was a joke. We never saw each other because of distance, but I love how she gave me the chance to rekindle what we had back in the day. I love even more how when I denied the opportunity for some time and then took it, she basically said "nevermind" by getting back with her boyfriend who she had complained about the same night she gave the offer. Bullshit much? She taught me not to take anything for full, even if it is the shit dreams are made of.
8. Brianca Day
This chick here lol. I was in like maybe 10th or 9th grade, I cant really remember, but what I do know is the lesson. That girl...she taught me that no matter how nice a personality I have, how long and deep a conversation can be on the phone, and how right I treat a female, CLOTHES MAKE A PERSON, A PERSON DOESNT MAKE CLOTHES. She flatly bashed my style choice and chose to either take my money and help me go shop or just not talk to me anymore. When I didnt want to change my style, she chose to change our relationship from talking to non-existent.
7. Nisa Little
7 is my favorite number. She got this number for a favorite reason. Unlike most of the other females on this list, Nisa is different. I see Nisa just about everyday at Norfolk State. Nisa was suppose to be the future honestly. She was a little more than what I was used to, but I was willing to work it out. We met in the last few months of my senior year and hung out; I took her to eat and chilled with her when she wanted because I never wanted her to stay in the house. She hated it there, so I tried my best to give her an escape. I saw her off to prom and really took a genuine interest in who she was and what she stood for. Then she went to Norfolk State for summer school. She called me over summer break and we chit chatted for some time and I was excited to be going to school with someone I liked. By the time I got there, she wasn't the same person. I didn't know who she was. I still don't know. Nisa taught me that good things go can astray any day.
6. Natalie S.
Well uhm, she only taught me that no matter how much a chick offers sex, an annoying laugh can be her downfall.
5. Amellia Smith
Amellia, amellia. I can honestly say she was the first attractive female that ever talked to me. I guess quirky conversations and long nights on the phone can get you far huh?
Wrong.
She used me and had me to buy her some Vans. If she taught me anything, its never give money to these broads. They just walk on you with brand name shoes you brought.
4. Ashley O.
Mane, she was a topic of interest when she was brought up in conversation, but that's rare now. I knew her before that. In 9th grade, I knew an Ashley that was sweet, cool, and easy to talk to. She just wanted to be loved and I could've been the one to give that to her, yet I let my friends sway my judgment. The first thing Ashley taught me was to take the moment and give what you feel is right; never let anyone change your opinion or influence your decision.
The Ashley we know of now is a different page. I dont know what got into her, but this Ashley taught me only one thing: corruption runs smoother than salvation.
3. Allison Rodriguez
One of the first girls who liked me when I started Towson. She was a tomboy and didnt take my shit. I was in Heaven <3
Aside from that, she was already in a relationship. An abusive one. He was a gang banger who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself or how to treat a lady. No matter how many times I tried to give her an escape, she always went back to him. Allison taught me that I can't save them all.
2. Janae Anderson
Wow....can I say a headache? I dont remember how I started even talking to her, but she was my equal: crafty, cunning, sly, and brilliant. Now Im some levels up, yet I do remember when she was in her prime. When I tried to talk to her, she was in a "I only talk to college guys" phase. Later on during our friendship, she hinted at a possible hook-up in Ocean City for senior break. She started acting like a bitch and people who know me know I dont take shit, sooo yea lol, but Janae is forbidden fruit. She taught me that I can't sink my teeth into them all.
1. Essence Perkins
The lasting legacy... far from a memory, but never forgotten. Essence and I were together for a brief period in my junior year and she was a great girlfriend. I would hold her hand in public and everything seemed right. I felt at home. I looked at other guys in the mall trying to get girl's numbers and I smirked because I didnt have to hunt for my good thang. This was short lived though. The wild was calling me and during that point in my life, I wasn't mature enough to realize that she was better than my instincts.
I went back to the wild. I fucked it up between us. I wanted to hunt and have a lot of meat on my plate. Pushing her away and then breaking it off.... these were my actions. I regret it to this day honestly. She taught me that anyone can get caught up in the game. Anyone.
Later Days
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I like who I am, but I cant speak for others
Hey, whats up?
Im Dominick.
I like animals, partying, the sun, food,
friends, rock n roll, and a little rap here and there.
My world is so quirky and uncanny,
I couldn't even begin to explain to you what I see when I look off into space.
My attitude is forever punk rock,
but is that the problem?
I connect with people on some type of level, yet there isnt anyone on my plane.
Im not saying Im above or below anyone,
Im just over here and all of yall are over there.
All the way over there.
I recently started listening to My Chemical Romance's newest album,
Danger Days: The Faboulous Lives of The Killjoys
(which I highly recommend. GO OUT AND BUY),
and I really love the songs because they feel like me or vice versa.
Every song is about freedom, standing up against overwhelming odds, having fun, and just being out.
My life is an accelerated trans-am car on a desert highway, breaking way over the red line on E.
I worry about the now because the future is secondary-the aftermath.
Where is my other half?
I mean Mel is pretty much there, but she is kinda reserved.
Is there anyone more accelerated than me?
Sometimes, I know Im too "punk rock" to be coupled in with the people at my school.
I just wanna go fast and laugh hard with an open sky beaming that giant ball of heated radiation down on my scalp.
Everyone else wants to smoke and take "kush naps".
Does the lack of chains make me a slave to alienation?
I cant conform. Its too hard.
I cant slow down. Its too late.
I dont tripp though. Its just one of those things you think about when you're on the go.
Im Dominick.
I like animals, partying, the sun, food,
friends, rock n roll, and a little rap here and there.
My world is so quirky and uncanny,
I couldn't even begin to explain to you what I see when I look off into space.
My attitude is forever punk rock,
but is that the problem?
I connect with people on some type of level, yet there isnt anyone on my plane.
Im not saying Im above or below anyone,
Im just over here and all of yall are over there.
All the way over there.
I recently started listening to My Chemical Romance's newest album,
Danger Days: The Faboulous Lives of The Killjoys
(which I highly recommend. GO OUT AND BUY),
and I really love the songs because they feel like me or vice versa.
Every song is about freedom, standing up against overwhelming odds, having fun, and just being out.
My life is an accelerated trans-am car on a desert highway, breaking way over the red line on E.
I worry about the now because the future is secondary-the aftermath.
Where is my other half?
I mean Mel is pretty much there, but she is kinda reserved.
Is there anyone more accelerated than me?
Sometimes, I know Im too "punk rock" to be coupled in with the people at my school.
I just wanna go fast and laugh hard with an open sky beaming that giant ball of heated radiation down on my scalp.
Everyone else wants to smoke and take "kush naps".
Does the lack of chains make me a slave to alienation?
I cant conform. Its too hard.
I cant slow down. Its too late.
I dont tripp though. Its just one of those things you think about when you're on the go.
Im always on the go.
People eat my dust.
Am I too much?
Later Days
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