Nega-Dominick

We all have it in us.
No matter what anyone tells you, theres only two sides to who you are.
The positive.
The negative.
Villian.
Hero.
Protagonist or antagonist.
Dominick
and
Nega-Dominick.

I want to come to terms with my Nega personality.
That part of me that has warped some of my memories,
granted me overwhelming anger in the face of someones cries,
and has broken me down to somebody that I didn't want to be.
Someone who no one should've ever seen.
It all just comes from stress, ya know?
A stressful past and irritating present doesn't do well on the soul.
So I take an escape and no...
alcohol doesnt dim this pain.
I just become someone else.
Everything I never wanted to be.
It takes its toll on those who come across its path.
I dont know why I refer to it as a "thing" when the "thing" is me,
but it doesnt feel like it.

Yet who (or what) is Nega-Dominick?

Angry and pessimistic (first and foremost).
A hedonist.
A liar.
Faults, flaws, fears, and one big fight in himself.
He's the one who attacks while he's hurt.
Even if he defeated the world,
he would still have to beat himself.
And thats the difference between my two sides:
he beats himself up constantly over things that were out of his control,
I dont.

At the end of the day,
all I need is my friends, family, lil bit of pocket change, and hope.
He only has regrets and blood on his hands.
Everyday.

I try my best to keep that part of me at bay.
Im doing pretty well here and there with the task.
For now.

Later Days