Man, being at school just feels different.
I dont feel like painting a portrait with my language today, so I'll cut chase.
Just...here man, it feels like the majority of niggas here are trying.
Feels like they need an attention fix.
Lame.
Then its just me. Chilling dolo. I dont need a pack of niggas all wearing the same shit (snapback, nike kicks, some shirt) roaming the campus by my side. It's just me and my occasional boys, but other than that, Im booming grounds.
Then some people talk to me. The conversation tends to end with "your such an asshole".
I beg to differ.
I guess its fresh for females to actually meet someone who doesnt want shit from em...mainly pussy.
Cant knock never knock a niggas grind out here, if thats what you want, go for it, but to these broads, I aint gonna fake on yall man. I cant.
I guess Im an asshole because Im keeping it a 100.
Kills how people say they want the real, yet shy away from it.
Aint fucking my grind though on the true. I just feel like Im living a jet life: doing what I want and not conforming for no hoe.
Not everyone can be "that" nigga, so why they tryna stunt?
This gonna be a long semester and I still dont have housing. Shit tough out here.
UMBC eats it's young.
Well, so does America when I think about it.
Later Days
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Lift the Curtains
Hey there.
Back at it again, full throttle.
Summer is officially dead starting tomorrow and I'm back on campus with new situations, old friends, and static in my blood.
These past months were mad real.
It can't even be late nights and chill days anymore now...at this point, I just do it for the elevation.
Got a couple trips planned and fewer people missed from my past. Im loving it all, but we can step it up even more. I figure I sound like im talking in riddles...I mean, it is like 1:30.
Cya tomorrow, you stay classy planet Earth.
Later Days
Back at it again, full throttle.
Summer is officially dead starting tomorrow and I'm back on campus with new situations, old friends, and static in my blood.
These past months were mad real.
It can't even be late nights and chill days anymore now...at this point, I just do it for the elevation.
Got a couple trips planned and fewer people missed from my past. Im loving it all, but we can step it up even more. I figure I sound like im talking in riddles...I mean, it is like 1:30.
Cya tomorrow, you stay classy planet Earth.
Later Days
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Losing Her
I didnt think I would really finish writing this.
It hurts to type this shit, so Im going to just break this down to the components..
I win bitch. You lose.
Later Days
It hurts to type this shit, so Im going to just break this down to the components..
I win bitch. You lose.
Later Days
Monday, August 8, 2011
Queen of Elephants
There was this night I had.
I was out partying and having a couple of drinks.
It was all a blast.
Ya know, Im having the time of my life.
Then there was this girl who was smiling at me.
She's about 5'4,
124 pounds,
mixed,
and she was smiling at me.
She comes over,
introduces herself and we talk a little.
We found out little quirky facts about each other,
all the while having more drinks.
Then all of a sudden,
my cell phone rings.
I look down at my cell and pull it out.
Its a text message from you.
The girl from the party voice fades into silence.
In that moment,
Im lost.
There's no alcohol,
music,
people,
attractive girl,
there's no party.
Its just me and you.
To an even less extent,
me.
Its only you.
In that second,
the moment returns.
There's music of your eyes playing in my head.
It never goes away.
It makes me want to leave.
It wants me to see you.
I want to be next to you.
I will push it all aside,
to stand next to you.
Im always missing you.
I was out partying and having a couple of drinks.
It was all a blast.
Ya know, Im having the time of my life.
Then there was this girl who was smiling at me.
She's about 5'4,
124 pounds,
mixed,
and she was smiling at me.
She comes over,
introduces herself and we talk a little.
We found out little quirky facts about each other,
all the while having more drinks.
Then all of a sudden,
my cell phone rings.
I look down at my cell and pull it out.
Its a text message from you.
The girl from the party voice fades into silence.
In that moment,
Im lost.
There's no alcohol,
music,
people,
attractive girl,
there's no party.
Its just me and you.
To an even less extent,
me.
Its only you.
In that second,
the moment returns.
There's music of your eyes playing in my head.
It never goes away.
It makes me want to leave.
It wants me to see you.
I want to be next to you.
I will push it all aside,
to stand next to you.
Im always missing you.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Ignite Your Bones
Yes, I can feel it.
This Summer has literally broken me and from the ashes, a new phoenix has risen.
A bit dramatic wording, but I cant put it any other way. I like when Im able to see what I was and feel what I have become.
Its a difference. I appreciate God, my friends, my enemies, the threat of jail, the future, and everything else that played into this new person.
I actually have a plan for whats up ahead and I know plans usually get turned around, but Im pretty sure I can keep a level head with this one.
Im the only one.
I have no brothers, no sisters, no father,
it's just me and mum.
My family is on my back and this is where it all starts, with me.
My kids, their kids, they all will stem from what I do with my life and coming from a current life where Im surrounded by a majority of peers who had a head start, whereas I didn't, I look at myself and think "I want that."
Doesnt mean Im not going to stop having fun like I always do,
Im just going to head in a funny direction..
It ignites my bones to know I finally have something to look forward to.
Enough of this brooding mood though,
until next post, its as it always was with me,
never a goodbye, just a goodnight.
Later Days
This Summer has literally broken me and from the ashes, a new phoenix has risen.
A bit dramatic wording, but I cant put it any other way. I like when Im able to see what I was and feel what I have become.
Its a difference. I appreciate God, my friends, my enemies, the threat of jail, the future, and everything else that played into this new person.
I actually have a plan for whats up ahead and I know plans usually get turned around, but Im pretty sure I can keep a level head with this one.
Im the only one.
I have no brothers, no sisters, no father,
it's just me and mum.
My family is on my back and this is where it all starts, with me.
My kids, their kids, they all will stem from what I do with my life and coming from a current life where Im surrounded by a majority of peers who had a head start, whereas I didn't, I look at myself and think "I want that."
Doesnt mean Im not going to stop having fun like I always do,
Im just going to head in a funny direction..
It ignites my bones to know I finally have something to look forward to.
Enough of this brooding mood though,
until next post, its as it always was with me,
never a goodbye, just a goodnight.
Later Days
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Taken 4 Granted
I live in a generation where if you care about someone, it's labeled as weakness.
Its true.
As a young child, I always saw things in a different light...a shadow was bright shine to me, the clouds were always hiding what the sun was doing, and the stars looked down on us, not vice versa.
As a teen, I didnt let these street thugs and video players fool me. They were just heartbroken souls who were lashing out for losing out on a wanted love.
I have to keep it true, honest, and 100% in all I do, so when I say "I love you", that's the answer, question, and reason for everything I do for a person.
But what if it's a one way road? What do I do?
I duke it out. I let time take its course and see what our relationship turns into.
With all this love in my heart, I have to dream of ways to throw it away when Im taken for granted.
Yes, I may love you.
Yes, I probably do care for you.
Yes, I want to be everything you need.
No, I wont stay around if you think I wont leave you, just cause Im bound by love.
I just honestly learned this skill this summer. It is heavily useful.
People get comfortable when they think they got someone in their corner. Its nature.
Well, Im a wild card. I dont ever fit in the statistics.
I understand that this blog entry probably jumped around a bit from one topic to another, but this is the underlying message I have to say:
Don't let love fool you...it will always be, but people can leave.
Later Days
Its true.
As a young child, I always saw things in a different light...a shadow was bright shine to me, the clouds were always hiding what the sun was doing, and the stars looked down on us, not vice versa.
As a teen, I didnt let these street thugs and video players fool me. They were just heartbroken souls who were lashing out for losing out on a wanted love.
I have to keep it true, honest, and 100% in all I do, so when I say "I love you", that's the answer, question, and reason for everything I do for a person.
But what if it's a one way road? What do I do?
I duke it out. I let time take its course and see what our relationship turns into.
With all this love in my heart, I have to dream of ways to throw it away when Im taken for granted.
Yes, I may love you.
Yes, I probably do care for you.
Yes, I want to be everything you need.
No, I wont stay around if you think I wont leave you, just cause Im bound by love.
I just honestly learned this skill this summer. It is heavily useful.
People get comfortable when they think they got someone in their corner. Its nature.
Well, Im a wild card. I dont ever fit in the statistics.
I understand that this blog entry probably jumped around a bit from one topic to another, but this is the underlying message I have to say:
Don't let love fool you...it will always be, but people can leave.
Later Days
Monday, August 1, 2011
8.1.2011
Lines. They're all around us.
You either cross them or stand behind em.
If you're lucky, you might even be able to feel the moment you're standing exactly on it... the feeling doesnt last long though, so you either find yourself over it or still behind it.
Can you count how many times you've crossed the line?
Sometimes you can go back, but most of the time, you can't.
Leaving that old life behind is never easy...it's even harder when you continue living it and you dont want to.
It's not always bad to go past that boundary, nor stay in the same position.
Unlike most though, familiarity makes me, personally, anxious for more.
The duality of this past event is going to make me and break you.
Falling off,
landing soft,
climbing back up.
If it is the point of no return, will you be with me in the uncertain?
Should I feel bad for asking a question that can't be answered with words...
Later Days
You either cross them or stand behind em.
If you're lucky, you might even be able to feel the moment you're standing exactly on it... the feeling doesnt last long though, so you either find yourself over it or still behind it.
Can you count how many times you've crossed the line?
Sometimes you can go back, but most of the time, you can't.
Leaving that old life behind is never easy...it's even harder when you continue living it and you dont want to.
It's not always bad to go past that boundary, nor stay in the same position.
Unlike most though, familiarity makes me, personally, anxious for more.
The duality of this past event is going to make me and break you.
Falling off,
landing soft,
climbing back up.
If it is the point of no return, will you be with me in the uncertain?
Should I feel bad for asking a question that can't be answered with words...
Later Days
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