Inferno

I've been thinking lately that I've come from a lot of conflict, ya know...born and bred. Alas, I continuously make it through the fire. Not to say that I haven't had any breaks or easy moments in my own life, but I've mainly always had to take the difficult route.
I've had to cheat, lie, and steal in order to just stay stable and that isn't what I want to do, but it was necessary at times. I don't even know if I'm proud of where I am. I don't know anyone who is.

Also realized that I have abandonment issues. That's another story.

Today, while walking back from the gym, Gary and I caught up and I thought I told him about my dad, step brother, step sister, and the inheritance dilemma I discovered (that's another story), but he said I didn't tell him. After I finished going through everything, he said "Damn, at least you know why you're angry."

I never saw it like that and I can't figure out why. My anger has softened through the years, rising when it wants, yet mostly at a calm.
Even on this lazy Saturday, I'm going through some fire ranging from monetary issues to matters of the heart, and its fire fire fire.
Sounds basic and I'm more than certain there's billions of others going through the same thing, but
I don't know billions of people.
I only know that I exist, so I can only feel my flames

Of course there's a positive spin I could put on the difficulty I encounter in my life:
I have "character" and have developed "discipline" and blah...

At the end of the day, recently, I find I only need simple things:
A hand to hold
A smile to look at
Food to eat
A story to hear
A laugh to share

I can't even get that
Fire

Later Days, Longer Nights