Can't Sleep

When I originally started this post, I didn't know what I was going to write. I woke up in the middle of the night and had no clue what to say. I still don't know.

This is just as good:

"You have to experience a broken heart before you can understand the pain you're capable of inflicting on someone who loves you"

For an impatient guy, I learn things a little too late



Later Days, Longer Nights

Talking To Myself

I heard your cries for strength
Echoing in a space between the sleep you never wanted
And dreams always coming

Had to calm down,
say the words out loud :
What if I fail in my focus?
What if all this is for nothing?

I made you say it so it wouldn't be just a thought
It can carry weight now
Although you act in an opposite manner
There's a reality under the surface of those questions

So what you gonna do? Ali, Goku, Bruce Lee all share something in common with you
Running through your veins, the blood you share
Energy, relentless dedication to defeating what's in your way
But
what you gonna do if that weight holds you?

I see your mind's a mess
Cause you have to make plans and
Say so much by biting your tongue
Holding back
That isn't you and you know it
Your heart is so fat
Your hear is so fat

You talk to me and I listen to you
We know where we stand
22 and few rules
Wherever we go
He only wants to end up coming home to you

What are you going to do if?
What am I going to do if?

Later Days, Longer Nights

Graduation

Yeah, so I'm finally about to graduate from college next Spring
After 4 transfers and a whole myriad of events in between, it's coming

I have an interview for an internship this upcoming week and I'm nervous, but I'll spank it though

After April, I'm starting to save up money because I'm getting out of this hellhole called Pennsylvania

By the time May of 2016 comes, I projected that I'll have over 3k easy, more if I take it easy for Spring Break next year

That takes care of the U-Haul, dog, and maybe a down payment for a car, if I want to be so bold
Honestly, I've been telling myself that it's either the dog or the car, I can't gun out of school with both
The car would be awesome, but thats an extra payment per month
The dog would be cool too, but medical bills ya know?

I'll figure it out once it gets closer to time

I'm definitely getting a sleep number or TempurPedic bed, some cool thing
Queen size
Among other things

Where am I going though, you may ponder?

That's a secret


Later Days, Longer Nights

I Want Them To Stop

Last night I had another dream with Chanel in it.

There's only been 2.

The first one started off with me in Brazil (or at least my version of Brazil cause I've never been there before)
I was walking around and there were palm trees and I was in a marketplace
A toucan flew past me and I was smiling and shit
Then she came from around some corner and was smiling at me
It hit me that we came together and we walked around the marketplace,
entering some department store.
I woke up after that.

Last night,
It started off with me in bed and I could tell the dream mirrored the situation I'm in now.
I could feel that we weren't talking like how we used to and I was just in bed watching tv.
Then she texted me and I got all happy and shit because she very rarely does so if I don' text her first.
She told me she got a place in Atlanta or maybe it was NC, I can't remember
I got really, genuinely happy for her and she started telling me about the place.
Then I woke up.

I don't know what these mean or if they even mean anything at all.
I want them to stop because when I wake up and realize where I am
I remember that its a dream. We don't really speak.

Later Days, Longer Nights

One Helluvah Note

I can't wait to send this thing

It's my last shot

I'm nervous, but there is no try

Do or die

Fight