Actively

There's no real way to go into this, so I might as well jump in

I've been actively preparing to be alone

Not in a way when it comes to love and things of the like

I've realized a while back that when my mum dies, I'll never know about my past


She's the last link and I don't know what makes her stubborn to tell me things, but it's been holding up all this time and I'm pretty sure I'll never know at this point

So when she goes, its just me

I look at my phone and I can feel that call coming

It won't even feel as bad as it should since I'm expecting it

Such a dreadful thing to do, but I rather be ready than unprepared



In terms of love and things of the like, maybe I've been readying myself for that too
Surrounded by doubts, I am
Going through all this shit, trying to figure out how to be a man
The fucking wolves man

Later Days, Longer Nights