Problems

It only takes a second to feel something new.
The great day can turn night even quicker when you don't expect the change.
From the beginning, I should've known my life wouldn't be tendered with natural love.
I was finished before I started.
I run away to the world when I cant stand the truth,
Yet no matter where I go,
Its not far enough.
I dont know why today is the day I finally realized how little I have.

There are thoughts I cant hold back anymore and its tearing me apart,
A whole multitude of feelings I have yet to feel.
I cant just make them appear,
They are the type that come from elsewhere.
I will never be blessed with those emotions.
I dont know why today is the day I finally realized how little I have.

When everyone left me, no one called to see if I was ok.
They just left me alone.
With that I saw how my life really was.
The person claiming to love me abandoned me when I needed her the most.
The person calling himself my "brother" didnt try to stop me.
The person who raised me looked at me with those eyes of contempt and disgust.
All in all, I saw their true colors, and thats why I hate them.
Even as I type, something ancient is pouring out of me and I fight to keep it back.
Im apart of the broken.

The life I live is a lonely path paved with good intentions.
The people in it say things to me that I believed,
But act in the opposite manner.
Holding this all together isnt worth it anymore.
It hurts. It hurt the whole time. I just noticed the pain.

It may be a good idea to disappear for some time.
I want people to look for me,
But they wont.
It isnt a game of chase either.
I just dont think Im ever thought of in the way I want.
I dont know why today changed my life.
Maybe it was the signs or perhaps the lights.
Doesnt matter anymore.
The hardest part of this is leaving.

Later Days