Sometimes...

You got to leave home.
I dont find my state disgusting or anything, but I feel the need to get cultured.
For some odd reason, I feel like I might become that guy who doesnt get out of here.
This place will trap you, I'm working on fixing that though.
Mostly everyone I love is here and there is a fear of the unknown out there, but is outweighed by this corporal spirit I have.
Sometimes, you got to leave what you know.

You got to love.
The past sends so many shivers down my skin.
At times, while Im in class or just chilling out, I think about everything that has ever happened to me.
I swear, it doesnt feel like I've done all these things, seen all these people, felt so much in 18 years.
Im not saying Im deep as an abyss, but if you were with me since Day One, you would understand to the fullest.
I'm not afraid to say that I've been hurt, I'm not ashamed to say that I've wanted when I couldn't have, and I damn sure never shy away from my actions.
I have regrets, yes, yet it doesnt hinder my progress.
Too many times have I opened my heart just to let someone in and watch it implode.
Not just girlfriends (or just girls I liked), but dad, mum (at times), friends, and even strangers (I know this one sounds stupid, but I'll tell you later).
My stance on it now is just "whatever".
Some people aint give a fuck about me when I cared for their whole world.
I took a risk and lost. Wont stop me from loving again, so Im ready.
Sometimes, the pain let's you appreciate the solace.

Lastly, you have to think about the day.
Everyday we are toying with our future. Anything we take in our body, whatever we learn, our hobbies, our vices, are possibly being passed down to our children, either through genetics or just behavior. I play, I work, and this past Summer has screamed the most important task I have to start doing: I have to plan. The day is special to me because it's history; every second, minute, hour will literally never come back around and it saddens me. There are no do overs here....
It is empowering and also limiting.
This past Summer hit me with the sure, blown fact that it's not just my future Im making, I have other people's world on my back to look out for and I wont let them down, even if they didnt do the same for me.
Sometimes, Im changing quicker than I wanted to.

Later Days