Barlights

Enter.
A Saturday night.

Everybody's lips are moving
and I haven't even started.

She's learning to walk in heels,
she's looking for someone to validate her beauty,
and him?
Well, he's just loose.

There's two bars in this double-decker building,
fleshed out with low, festive lights illuminating the
wooden floors, wooden walls, paper hearts...

I order 2 Irish trash cans
They come out blue

It's my favorite color, but c'mon...blue?

And tonight I'm trying to not try
All the gin in the world can't make me dry
And I think about all the wrongs I've caused people
Then I'm thinking,
I didn't care before,
And I dont really now

We're downing filled plastic cups
Like frat pledges going to binge
Me? I want more class
But regretfully, I can't even fake being in that tax bracket

Her? I know her
But only speak to her when I'm not sober

The barlights are blinking in tune

And tonight I'm all involved
All the gin in the world won't let me answer her call
Kinda wish I knew who I was
But then again,
That's only some nights

Head up, looking around with empty eyes
Around a room full of kids, growing up too soon
We can't take everyone with us
But still try to

I'm alive

My cheeks are hotter than the Everclear going down
She touches my shoulder like we're alone
But I can't take her with me either
It's all a lie milked by the moon in the sky

So we dance

Them damn barlights are shutting me down

And tonight, for a second, I thought about my family
My ex and her child
Justin, Julius... even her
They died.
Fate gave them more and they died,
But not me

I feel alive

I wish I knew who I was,
But then again,
That's not tonight

Later Days