Therapy

I said I was going to go and I did

I went to therapy today and it was a waste of time


I met with a counselor who wanted a snapshot of my problems currently and I told him a few

"Ok, the next scheduled time we can fit you in would be.....September 28th."

Shit

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd be dead by now waiting for my appointment slot


Based on my current alcohol intake, he suggested linking me up with an alcohol specialist



I thought that was amusing, then I had a day dream of me passing a fifth back and forth between the shrink and I...
Gotta relate to the patient


I want help and I'm impatient at this point to get it

The guy who sees black when he thinks about the future also has a new internship for a PR company.
They reached out to me and well, I accepted.

Last night my energy escaped and it took me some time before I fell asleep.

And in between that struggle for slumber, I noticed that I lay in bed like someone is next to me and I'm holding their space while they are in the bathroom pissing nightly juices or coming in late from a shift or the club.
I go to sleep alone and wake up the same way.
Who am I saving that spot for?
What am I saving it for?
When I say I don't know, I truly mean it.

Later Days, Longer Nights