So, its Christmas now.
Happy birthday Jesus and God, I havent lost the true meaning of the day in my crippled life.
I dont know why I was up, but I was.
I happened to catch the last bit of Harold and Kumar 2 and was very interested in Kumar's little math poem and he said something about not wanting to be a root 3. As most people should know, root 3 is indivisbile. Its just always a root 3 and like Kumar noted, is "lonely".
This is the first Christmas where I havent felt any spirit.
Aside from the fact that I wont be getting any presents (Im moving, but I didnt really care for presents),
my mum is going to work Christmas day.
I'll wake up alone.
She always used to work Christmas day and I just repressed my childhood sadness, until it revisted my soul today.
She told me around midday and I just felt detached from then on.
I have, in a sense, been alone on Christmas (until I met up with my other family members later on) since I was 10.
It took today and Kumar's little poem for me to realize that Im a fuckin' root 3.
I have friends and family, but theres just something Im missing.
I have no idea what it is.
A person? Object? No idea.
I feel like a black sheep coming home.
Back to the root of my problem,
but I havent solved it.
I know it wont be long, but when I think in retrospect its been a big gap.
I've mostly been a root 3 all my life.
Sometimes, I filled the gap with a girlfriend, but I never had a normal one of those.
They were always further then I could reach.
Maybe I need something around me,
something I can hold when I feel and not long for.
Oh well... I'll just bite these bullets and do what I do best:
become numb beyond belief.
Merry Christmas
Later Days
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sometimes I Forget
Hey,
Its been some time. Im home for winter break and Im patiently awaiting my acceptance letters from Bowie State and UMBC. Aside from that, I've just been with the Gang and doing nothing. I love every second of it!
Recently, I created a quote that has been plaguing my mind because its true and cryptic.
"Sometimes, I forget how many lives Im living."
Its true. I have about 3 or more lives Im living and they never really collide. They dont have the opportunity to. I dont believe any of them are a secret; they are just seperate.
Im the same person in all of them...just about.
When I evaluate it all in stride, I wonder if any of them are a lie?
Probably not, yet ya never know.
The best deceiver tends to be yourself,
but blahhhhhhhhh!
Got that out my head. Im ready to party!
Later DAys
Its been some time. Im home for winter break and Im patiently awaiting my acceptance letters from Bowie State and UMBC. Aside from that, I've just been with the Gang and doing nothing. I love every second of it!
Recently, I created a quote that has been plaguing my mind because its true and cryptic.
"Sometimes, I forget how many lives Im living."
Its true. I have about 3 or more lives Im living and they never really collide. They dont have the opportunity to. I dont believe any of them are a secret; they are just seperate.
Im the same person in all of them...just about.
When I evaluate it all in stride, I wonder if any of them are a lie?
Probably not, yet ya never know.
The best deceiver tends to be yourself,
but blahhhhhhhhh!
Got that out my head. Im ready to party!
Later DAys
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Johnny, Come Back Home
Its 5:56.
Im up, packing my stuff.
Man, NSU had a few lessons for me.
Im going to miss the people who let me into their life,
let me into their dorm,
dranked a cup with me,
and smoked with me.
This world is after us and I only hope we all just get what we want from it in the end.
I love, like actually love, all my friends here.
Not my associates, not my hookups, just
my "friends".
From Lou, to Brian, Tavon,Gabe, Quiton, Ty, John, Kevin, all the people man...
Im going to miss yall.
Its 6:09.
Im up, packing.
Getting ready to go.
Good luck comrades.
Later Days
Im up, packing my stuff.
Man, NSU had a few lessons for me.
Im going to miss the people who let me into their life,
let me into their dorm,
dranked a cup with me,
and smoked with me.
This world is after us and I only hope we all just get what we want from it in the end.
I love, like actually love, all my friends here.
Not my associates, not my hookups, just
my "friends".
From Lou, to Brian, Tavon,Gabe, Quiton, Ty, John, Kevin, all the people man...
Im going to miss yall.
Its 6:09.
Im up, packing.
Getting ready to go.
Good luck comrades.
Later Days
Monday, December 6, 2010
The List
Hey there kids.
Tonight is a special entry.
Tonight I have compiled a list containing the names of ten females
that have made me change my views on ALL females that I will ever meet and what they taught me about myself and the elusive gender called "women".
They are not in any particular order.
I promise not to write in Jill or Iesha for those who know who they are and what they did.
They're too easy.
Im not one for suspense, so here we go:
10. Benee Morris
My ex. My cold flame. My second to best mistake. Benee taught me that in trusting a female, that you leave yourself open to vulnerability. She taught me that when you give your all to someone, you have nothing when they actually take it. Her lies coupled with the fact that I really loved her made it hard to really trust anyone from that point on. I mean somebody answer me this: How can you trust a chick that said she aborted your baby, when in all actuality she wasnt telling the truth? How can you trust a female that said she couldn't hang out with you on a weekend because she was going home to DC, when she really was getting fucked by a druggie and letting him bust on her face?
9. Spencer Renee Nixon
Long time friend. REAL long mane. Known her since 7th grade and when we went out, I can say it was a joke. We never saw each other because of distance, but I love how she gave me the chance to rekindle what we had back in the day. I love even more how when I denied the opportunity for some time and then took it, she basically said "nevermind" by getting back with her boyfriend who she had complained about the same night she gave the offer. Bullshit much? She taught me not to take anything for full, even if it is the shit dreams are made of.
8. Brianca Day
This chick here lol. I was in like maybe 10th or 9th grade, I cant really remember, but what I do know is the lesson. That girl...she taught me that no matter how nice a personality I have, how long and deep a conversation can be on the phone, and how right I treat a female, CLOTHES MAKE A PERSON, A PERSON DOESNT MAKE CLOTHES. She flatly bashed my style choice and chose to either take my money and help me go shop or just not talk to me anymore. When I didnt want to change my style, she chose to change our relationship from talking to non-existent.
7. Nisa Little
7 is my favorite number. She got this number for a favorite reason. Unlike most of the other females on this list, Nisa is different. I see Nisa just about everyday at Norfolk State. Nisa was suppose to be the future honestly. She was a little more than what I was used to, but I was willing to work it out. We met in the last few months of my senior year and hung out; I took her to eat and chilled with her when she wanted because I never wanted her to stay in the house. She hated it there, so I tried my best to give her an escape. I saw her off to prom and really took a genuine interest in who she was and what she stood for. Then she went to Norfolk State for summer school. She called me over summer break and we chit chatted for some time and I was excited to be going to school with someone I liked. By the time I got there, she wasn't the same person. I didn't know who she was. I still don't know. Nisa taught me that good things go can astray any day.
6. Natalie S.
Well uhm, she only taught me that no matter how much a chick offers sex, an annoying laugh can be her downfall.
5. Amellia Smith
Amellia, amellia. I can honestly say she was the first attractive female that ever talked to me. I guess quirky conversations and long nights on the phone can get you far huh?
Wrong.
She used me and had me to buy her some Vans. If she taught me anything, its never give money to these broads. They just walk on you with brand name shoes you brought.
4. Ashley O.
Mane, she was a topic of interest when she was brought up in conversation, but that's rare now. I knew her before that. In 9th grade, I knew an Ashley that was sweet, cool, and easy to talk to. She just wanted to be loved and I could've been the one to give that to her, yet I let my friends sway my judgment. The first thing Ashley taught me was to take the moment and give what you feel is right; never let anyone change your opinion or influence your decision.
The Ashley we know of now is a different page. I dont know what got into her, but this Ashley taught me only one thing: corruption runs smoother than salvation.
3. Allison Rodriguez
One of the first girls who liked me when I started Towson. She was a tomboy and didnt take my shit. I was in Heaven <3
Aside from that, she was already in a relationship. An abusive one. He was a gang banger who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself or how to treat a lady. No matter how many times I tried to give her an escape, she always went back to him. Allison taught me that I can't save them all.
2. Janae Anderson
Wow....can I say a headache? I dont remember how I started even talking to her, but she was my equal: crafty, cunning, sly, and brilliant. Now Im some levels up, yet I do remember when she was in her prime. When I tried to talk to her, she was in a "I only talk to college guys" phase. Later on during our friendship, she hinted at a possible hook-up in Ocean City for senior break. She started acting like a bitch and people who know me know I dont take shit, sooo yea lol, but Janae is forbidden fruit. She taught me that I can't sink my teeth into them all.
1. Essence Perkins
The lasting legacy... far from a memory, but never forgotten. Essence and I were together for a brief period in my junior year and she was a great girlfriend. I would hold her hand in public and everything seemed right. I felt at home. I looked at other guys in the mall trying to get girl's numbers and I smirked because I didnt have to hunt for my good thang. This was short lived though. The wild was calling me and during that point in my life, I wasn't mature enough to realize that she was better than my instincts.
I went back to the wild. I fucked it up between us. I wanted to hunt and have a lot of meat on my plate. Pushing her away and then breaking it off.... these were my actions. I regret it to this day honestly. She taught me that anyone can get caught up in the game. Anyone.
Later Days
Tonight is a special entry.
Tonight I have compiled a list containing the names of ten females
that have made me change my views on ALL females that I will ever meet and what they taught me about myself and the elusive gender called "women".
They are not in any particular order.
I promise not to write in Jill or Iesha for those who know who they are and what they did.
They're too easy.
Im not one for suspense, so here we go:
10. Benee Morris
My ex. My cold flame. My second to best mistake. Benee taught me that in trusting a female, that you leave yourself open to vulnerability. She taught me that when you give your all to someone, you have nothing when they actually take it. Her lies coupled with the fact that I really loved her made it hard to really trust anyone from that point on. I mean somebody answer me this: How can you trust a chick that said she aborted your baby, when in all actuality she wasnt telling the truth? How can you trust a female that said she couldn't hang out with you on a weekend because she was going home to DC, when she really was getting fucked by a druggie and letting him bust on her face?
9. Spencer Renee Nixon
Long time friend. REAL long mane. Known her since 7th grade and when we went out, I can say it was a joke. We never saw each other because of distance, but I love how she gave me the chance to rekindle what we had back in the day. I love even more how when I denied the opportunity for some time and then took it, she basically said "nevermind" by getting back with her boyfriend who she had complained about the same night she gave the offer. Bullshit much? She taught me not to take anything for full, even if it is the shit dreams are made of.
8. Brianca Day
This chick here lol. I was in like maybe 10th or 9th grade, I cant really remember, but what I do know is the lesson. That girl...she taught me that no matter how nice a personality I have, how long and deep a conversation can be on the phone, and how right I treat a female, CLOTHES MAKE A PERSON, A PERSON DOESNT MAKE CLOTHES. She flatly bashed my style choice and chose to either take my money and help me go shop or just not talk to me anymore. When I didnt want to change my style, she chose to change our relationship from talking to non-existent.
7. Nisa Little
7 is my favorite number. She got this number for a favorite reason. Unlike most of the other females on this list, Nisa is different. I see Nisa just about everyday at Norfolk State. Nisa was suppose to be the future honestly. She was a little more than what I was used to, but I was willing to work it out. We met in the last few months of my senior year and hung out; I took her to eat and chilled with her when she wanted because I never wanted her to stay in the house. She hated it there, so I tried my best to give her an escape. I saw her off to prom and really took a genuine interest in who she was and what she stood for. Then she went to Norfolk State for summer school. She called me over summer break and we chit chatted for some time and I was excited to be going to school with someone I liked. By the time I got there, she wasn't the same person. I didn't know who she was. I still don't know. Nisa taught me that good things go can astray any day.
6. Natalie S.
Well uhm, she only taught me that no matter how much a chick offers sex, an annoying laugh can be her downfall.
5. Amellia Smith
Amellia, amellia. I can honestly say she was the first attractive female that ever talked to me. I guess quirky conversations and long nights on the phone can get you far huh?
Wrong.
She used me and had me to buy her some Vans. If she taught me anything, its never give money to these broads. They just walk on you with brand name shoes you brought.
4. Ashley O.
Mane, she was a topic of interest when she was brought up in conversation, but that's rare now. I knew her before that. In 9th grade, I knew an Ashley that was sweet, cool, and easy to talk to. She just wanted to be loved and I could've been the one to give that to her, yet I let my friends sway my judgment. The first thing Ashley taught me was to take the moment and give what you feel is right; never let anyone change your opinion or influence your decision.
The Ashley we know of now is a different page. I dont know what got into her, but this Ashley taught me only one thing: corruption runs smoother than salvation.
3. Allison Rodriguez
One of the first girls who liked me when I started Towson. She was a tomboy and didnt take my shit. I was in Heaven <3
Aside from that, she was already in a relationship. An abusive one. He was a gang banger who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself or how to treat a lady. No matter how many times I tried to give her an escape, she always went back to him. Allison taught me that I can't save them all.
2. Janae Anderson
Wow....can I say a headache? I dont remember how I started even talking to her, but she was my equal: crafty, cunning, sly, and brilliant. Now Im some levels up, yet I do remember when she was in her prime. When I tried to talk to her, she was in a "I only talk to college guys" phase. Later on during our friendship, she hinted at a possible hook-up in Ocean City for senior break. She started acting like a bitch and people who know me know I dont take shit, sooo yea lol, but Janae is forbidden fruit. She taught me that I can't sink my teeth into them all.
1. Essence Perkins
The lasting legacy... far from a memory, but never forgotten. Essence and I were together for a brief period in my junior year and she was a great girlfriend. I would hold her hand in public and everything seemed right. I felt at home. I looked at other guys in the mall trying to get girl's numbers and I smirked because I didnt have to hunt for my good thang. This was short lived though. The wild was calling me and during that point in my life, I wasn't mature enough to realize that she was better than my instincts.
I went back to the wild. I fucked it up between us. I wanted to hunt and have a lot of meat on my plate. Pushing her away and then breaking it off.... these were my actions. I regret it to this day honestly. She taught me that anyone can get caught up in the game. Anyone.
Later Days
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I like who I am, but I cant speak for others
Hey, whats up?
Im Dominick.
I like animals, partying, the sun, food,
friends, rock n roll, and a little rap here and there.
My world is so quirky and uncanny,
I couldn't even begin to explain to you what I see when I look off into space.
My attitude is forever punk rock,
but is that the problem?
I connect with people on some type of level, yet there isnt anyone on my plane.
Im not saying Im above or below anyone,
Im just over here and all of yall are over there.
All the way over there.
I recently started listening to My Chemical Romance's newest album,
Danger Days: The Faboulous Lives of The Killjoys
(which I highly recommend. GO OUT AND BUY),
and I really love the songs because they feel like me or vice versa.
Every song is about freedom, standing up against overwhelming odds, having fun, and just being out.
My life is an accelerated trans-am car on a desert highway, breaking way over the red line on E.
I worry about the now because the future is secondary-the aftermath.
Where is my other half?
I mean Mel is pretty much there, but she is kinda reserved.
Is there anyone more accelerated than me?
Sometimes, I know Im too "punk rock" to be coupled in with the people at my school.
I just wanna go fast and laugh hard with an open sky beaming that giant ball of heated radiation down on my scalp.
Everyone else wants to smoke and take "kush naps".
Does the lack of chains make me a slave to alienation?
I cant conform. Its too hard.
I cant slow down. Its too late.
I dont tripp though. Its just one of those things you think about when you're on the go.
Im Dominick.
I like animals, partying, the sun, food,
friends, rock n roll, and a little rap here and there.
My world is so quirky and uncanny,
I couldn't even begin to explain to you what I see when I look off into space.
My attitude is forever punk rock,
but is that the problem?
I connect with people on some type of level, yet there isnt anyone on my plane.
Im not saying Im above or below anyone,
Im just over here and all of yall are over there.
All the way over there.
I recently started listening to My Chemical Romance's newest album,
Danger Days: The Faboulous Lives of The Killjoys
(which I highly recommend. GO OUT AND BUY),
and I really love the songs because they feel like me or vice versa.
Every song is about freedom, standing up against overwhelming odds, having fun, and just being out.
My life is an accelerated trans-am car on a desert highway, breaking way over the red line on E.
I worry about the now because the future is secondary-the aftermath.
Where is my other half?
I mean Mel is pretty much there, but she is kinda reserved.
Is there anyone more accelerated than me?
Sometimes, I know Im too "punk rock" to be coupled in with the people at my school.
I just wanna go fast and laugh hard with an open sky beaming that giant ball of heated radiation down on my scalp.
Everyone else wants to smoke and take "kush naps".
Does the lack of chains make me a slave to alienation?
I cant conform. Its too hard.
I cant slow down. Its too late.
I dont tripp though. Its just one of those things you think about when you're on the go.
Im always on the go.
People eat my dust.
Am I too much?
Later Days
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sex Symbol
Its easy to pull hair back so hard that
you feel your scalp burn for more.
Its hard to make it hurt so good,
so thats why its my specialty.
Get your head down and
dont you scream.
The more you sweat...
goddamn.
All this heat.
All your gasps.
Too many scratches to be counted
and no darkness to hide you from me.
I want to see your eyes,
glistening against a faint light.
This is about as sweet as it gets
because Im going right back to the scene.
A combination of tender love,
and rough lust;
a mixing of souls
and breaking of spirits.
I love the sounds made,
its borderline rape how you beg for more.
I give it to you until you quit
because Ill never forfeit,
but you wont give either.
Show me how strong you are
by lasting the pain.
I got time if you can give it your all.
Dont let go,
I cant stop now and I wont slow down,
dont let go.
Later Days
you feel your scalp burn for more.
Its hard to make it hurt so good,
so thats why its my specialty.
Get your head down and
dont you scream.
The more you sweat...
goddamn.
All this heat.
All your gasps.
Too many scratches to be counted
and no darkness to hide you from me.
I want to see your eyes,
glistening against a faint light.
This is about as sweet as it gets
because Im going right back to the scene.
A combination of tender love,
and rough lust;
a mixing of souls
and breaking of spirits.
I love the sounds made,
its borderline rape how you beg for more.
I give it to you until you quit
because Ill never forfeit,
but you wont give either.
Show me how strong you are
by lasting the pain.
I got time if you can give it your all.
Dont let go,
I cant stop now and I wont slow down,
dont let go.
Later Days
Toxin
Oh yea,
poison baby.
We're nothing but bad guys, rogue agents,
and mad scientists who all ran away
when the heroes came in sight,
but not today.
Not ever again.
Theres too many sticks of dynamite
and explosives in this town to turn back now.
Chaos in 3,
2,
1,
B-O-O-M-!!
Oh yea baby,
its nothing but poison here;
all types of toxins in my veins to keep
me from saying "Im sorry" or
"I know I was wrong".
You will always say I told you so,
so that'll never get old.
Just give me more chemicals honey,
we're almost alone.
Another state of mind is where I rest my soul.
Everyone knows the highway is my home
because Im always fucking ready to go.
I can sleep when Im dead,
so my eyes may appear low.
Bag full of
mental guns loaded with drugged bullets,
please....
shoot me up darling,
these meds aint gonna swallow themselves.
Oh baby the poisons I take
throw me in a type of paradise
or another person's hell.
Never find out till Im there,
but if theres one thing I do know,
its that Im not here.
Later Days
poison baby.
We're nothing but bad guys, rogue agents,
and mad scientists who all ran away
when the heroes came in sight,
but not today.
Not ever again.
Theres too many sticks of dynamite
and explosives in this town to turn back now.
Chaos in 3,
2,
1,
B-O-O-M-!!
Oh yea baby,
its nothing but poison here;
all types of toxins in my veins to keep
me from saying "Im sorry" or
"I know I was wrong".
You will always say I told you so,
so that'll never get old.
Just give me more chemicals honey,
we're almost alone.
Another state of mind is where I rest my soul.
Everyone knows the highway is my home
because Im always fucking ready to go.
I can sleep when Im dead,
so my eyes may appear low.
Bag full of
mental guns loaded with drugged bullets,
please....
shoot me up darling,
these meds aint gonna swallow themselves.
Oh baby the poisons I take
throw me in a type of paradise
or another person's hell.
Never find out till Im there,
but if theres one thing I do know,
its that Im not here.
Later Days
Monday, November 22, 2010
Iesha's Elegy
I kept running to you
and away from you.
We are older now,
but still kids who dont know how to
settle down.
I wanted to be the tomorrow you
woke up for,
yet things didnt work that way.
You only wanted me,
as I was
or am.
It didnt matter who acted first
because one of us always had open arms,
welcomed with closed love.
Sing it loud:
"This is the dead-end."
I was tired of giving you my hand,
only to draw it back and
find spit again,
again,
and again.
Tell me how tired you were,
thinking we were on the same page,
just to see I burnt the book again
and again.
Embers flare forth like torches held high
to this chest of mine.
Every heart you break
can never amount to
the fire you started to my own.
Any star I wished on to keep
our feelings tame
yielded no results.
Its my fault.
All I own are ghosts
of you in my head.
Smiles forever bright,
eyes eternally deep,
and lost love
haunting me.
Theres no forgetting the first.
Just mourning of the last words.
Sing it loud sunshine:
"This is the dead-end."
At the end of our world,
who came home?
Did I become better
or can you?
Will you be bitter
or do I?
You didn't act like what I knew.
Not a friend,
nor a memory.
Running to you
and away from you.
Waiting for you
and leaving you.
No matter how many tears you cried,
I still remembered dreaming of someone like you.
Walking miles for someone like you.
Only sweet dreams.
I was only dreaming.
I want to sing out loud
until my throat croaks to deaf.
"This is the dead-end.
No goodnights my friend,
just goodbyes to bed."
Later Days
and away from you.
We are older now,
but still kids who dont know how to
settle down.
I wanted to be the tomorrow you
woke up for,
yet things didnt work that way.
You only wanted me,
as I was
or am.
It didnt matter who acted first
because one of us always had open arms,
welcomed with closed love.
Sing it loud:
"This is the dead-end."
I was tired of giving you my hand,
only to draw it back and
find spit again,
again,
and again.
Tell me how tired you were,
thinking we were on the same page,
just to see I burnt the book again
and again.
Embers flare forth like torches held high
to this chest of mine.
Every heart you break
can never amount to
the fire you started to my own.
Any star I wished on to keep
our feelings tame
yielded no results.
Its my fault.
All I own are ghosts
of you in my head.
Smiles forever bright,
eyes eternally deep,
and lost love
haunting me.
Theres no forgetting the first.
Just mourning of the last words.
Sing it loud sunshine:
"This is the dead-end."
At the end of our world,
who came home?
Did I become better
or can you?
Will you be bitter
or do I?
You didn't act like what I knew.
Not a friend,
nor a memory.
Running to you
and away from you.
Waiting for you
and leaving you.
No matter how many tears you cried,
I still remembered dreaming of someone like you.
Walking miles for someone like you.
Only sweet dreams.
I was only dreaming.
I want to sing out loud
until my throat croaks to deaf.
"This is the dead-end.
No goodnights my friend,
just goodbyes to bed."
Later Days
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Beef and Broccolli
I feel like taking a break from the poetry entries.
I cant use my delicate words everyday ya know?
Its nearing thanksgiving time and I mean everything is just....planned.
The cycle God places me in continues to roll as I recently
found out that I might not return to NSU next semester.
Just desserts I guess.
Now im headed to UMBC with my pal Zach and Im ready for it.
Im ready for the repeat.
Starting at the bottom all over again.
Not knowing anyone (except Zach),
being in a different area,
and just being put back into my zone.
I have to recreate and I have no problem with it at all.
This seems to be my niche and I'll accept it as long as it doesnt harm me or anyone I know.
On a different note,
my shoulder feels like its getting better.
I used to go into the weight room like 5 days a week and do big weight (225 and up), until my
shoulder made a disgusting breaking sound and it started to hurt.
Now Im doing lighter weight and crud.
Its whatever,
I think my abs still look good lol.
But please excuse me...
I must go do 200 pushups and crunches before I sleep.
I know,
I take this too serious.
Later Days
I cant use my delicate words everyday ya know?
Its nearing thanksgiving time and I mean everything is just....planned.
The cycle God places me in continues to roll as I recently
found out that I might not return to NSU next semester.
Just desserts I guess.
Now im headed to UMBC with my pal Zach and Im ready for it.
Im ready for the repeat.
Starting at the bottom all over again.
Not knowing anyone (except Zach),
being in a different area,
and just being put back into my zone.
I have to recreate and I have no problem with it at all.
This seems to be my niche and I'll accept it as long as it doesnt harm me or anyone I know.
On a different note,
my shoulder feels like its getting better.
I used to go into the weight room like 5 days a week and do big weight (225 and up), until my
shoulder made a disgusting breaking sound and it started to hurt.
Now Im doing lighter weight and crud.
Its whatever,
I think my abs still look good lol.
But please excuse me...
I must go do 200 pushups and crunches before I sleep.
I know,
I take this too serious.
Later Days
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Skywalker
Get lifted,
theres no greater feat.
I've met skywalkers and beings who look down on us tonight.
Can we see no end to the height of our heads?
We all want to be high,
but not many of us get flown.
Im just travelling the world,
searching the feel of it.
Theres not a lot of time though,
the only flaw to this serene peace.
It goes by fast, being oh so slow.
Everytime we go up,
things just seem right.
Everytime we go up,
its just up.
----------------------------------
So freakin blazed, its a crime
theres no greater feat.
I've met skywalkers and beings who look down on us tonight.
Can we see no end to the height of our heads?
We all want to be high,
but not many of us get flown.
Im just travelling the world,
searching the feel of it.
Theres not a lot of time though,
the only flaw to this serene peace.
It goes by fast, being oh so slow.
Everytime we go up,
things just seem right.
Everytime we go up,
its just up.
----------------------------------
So freakin blazed, its a crime
Thursday, November 18, 2010
We're All Having Sex with Life
Its just a feeling.
If you feel a little left behind,
I'll wait.
No really,
I dont mind at all.
You have just begun to grasp these emotions,
I've had them before.
Take my hand to a place I dont really know of.
As long as you're here,
it wont be too strange.
We can do this.
I believe in you.
--------------------------------------
Im soo high right now
Later Days
If you feel a little left behind,
I'll wait.
No really,
I dont mind at all.
You have just begun to grasp these emotions,
I've had them before.
Take my hand to a place I dont really know of.
As long as you're here,
it wont be too strange.
We can do this.
I believe in you.
--------------------------------------
Im soo high right now
Later Days
Monday, November 15, 2010
Lookin' For Trouble
I come from broken homes
and night rides, illuminating
street lights posted on
the corners where drugs come and go
in full supply.
Take a breath,
it doesnt last long.
Everyone around me is living for the next pay stub,
surviving is the goal cause we can't live when we old.
Smelling of depression and overtime,
bill collectors blowing up lines
and my mum just wants to sleep, but
cant with not knowing where her only child may be.
I know half of who made me
and fear what I can become;
plan b's and polo shirts are the only trends my friend's friends thrive on.
The sun shines the Kingdom with
the moon playing sin,
cause once the stars start to shine,
we out on the street,
again
and
again.
With at first no apparent aim,
but I do know I want to drink and meet a female
who can take my mind off the pain,
the stress, and uncertain future that
plagues my everyday routine.
Maybe success aint meant for me?
Perhaps Im always going to be tied to the streets
because my only talent seems to be
with a pen and wide view on things.
Introspective when silent,
dreaming with eyes awake,
yet the nightmare comes in the form of my mistakes.
Mistakes linked to the past,
experience becoming vast
when I look back and assess the decision that could have been best.
Right?
You cant answer that
because this is my life.
A small cubicle in this building of years
and no one has seen every matter of business
I've attended,
except me.
No one knows why I am who I am,
not even me,
to an extent.
Im lookin' for trouble when I question
this vessel that houses my soul,
a soul burning passion and hate
for the chance that I can hold
the hand of my love,
fruits of my success,
praises from my enemies,
and joy from the family.
This isnt even the first step.
---------------------------------------
I just made that up
Later Days
and night rides, illuminating
street lights posted on
the corners where drugs come and go
in full supply.
Take a breath,
it doesnt last long.
Everyone around me is living for the next pay stub,
surviving is the goal cause we can't live when we old.
Smelling of depression and overtime,
bill collectors blowing up lines
and my mum just wants to sleep, but
cant with not knowing where her only child may be.
I know half of who made me
and fear what I can become;
plan b's and polo shirts are the only trends my friend's friends thrive on.
The sun shines the Kingdom with
the moon playing sin,
cause once the stars start to shine,
we out on the street,
again
and
again.
With at first no apparent aim,
but I do know I want to drink and meet a female
who can take my mind off the pain,
the stress, and uncertain future that
plagues my everyday routine.
Maybe success aint meant for me?
Perhaps Im always going to be tied to the streets
because my only talent seems to be
with a pen and wide view on things.
Introspective when silent,
dreaming with eyes awake,
yet the nightmare comes in the form of my mistakes.
Mistakes linked to the past,
experience becoming vast
when I look back and assess the decision that could have been best.
Right?
You cant answer that
because this is my life.
A small cubicle in this building of years
and no one has seen every matter of business
I've attended,
except me.
No one knows why I am who I am,
not even me,
to an extent.
Im lookin' for trouble when I question
this vessel that houses my soul,
a soul burning passion and hate
for the chance that I can hold
the hand of my love,
fruits of my success,
praises from my enemies,
and joy from the family.
This isnt even the first step.
---------------------------------------
I just made that up
Later Days
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Im Back
Its flooding back in.
The aura I've suppressed in fear,
all the memories that granted me experience
to take down giants and decapitate the hydras of life.
Im coming back.
Me.
The real me.
I have chained my own potential to
the hounds of uncertainty,
dragged along a road paved of doubt.
Tip-toeing on my decisions to the sounds of silent chuckles that
laughed at me.
They've sent my humble vessel to his knees in the dead of night
with no scruples on their conscience.
Am I this strong?
How can I rise above all this ignorance that engulfs my spirit without losing what I am to what I dont know?
I dont really know,
but what is sure in my mind is that Im doing it.
Its happening.
Breaking down all these walls that constrained me before,
defying gravity with ease,
and Im not beneath piles of rubble as prior.
Up.
Its the only thing I can see.
Im back and
getting revenge.
Later Days
The aura I've suppressed in fear,
all the memories that granted me experience
to take down giants and decapitate the hydras of life.
Im coming back.
Me.
The real me.
I have chained my own potential to
the hounds of uncertainty,
dragged along a road paved of doubt.
Tip-toeing on my decisions to the sounds of silent chuckles that
laughed at me.
They've sent my humble vessel to his knees in the dead of night
with no scruples on their conscience.
Am I this strong?
How can I rise above all this ignorance that engulfs my spirit without losing what I am to what I dont know?
I dont really know,
but what is sure in my mind is that Im doing it.
Its happening.
Breaking down all these walls that constrained me before,
defying gravity with ease,
and Im not beneath piles of rubble as prior.
Up.
Its the only thing I can see.
Im back and
getting revenge.
Later Days
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sour Apple
You know what really sucks?
There is no room for slacking in life.
The most ironic and utterly dissatisfying aspect of life is that people who
don't deserve success will probably get it.
Doesnt matter whether they sell drugs in college
or happen to just catch a big break by chance.
I dont know why Im on this topic for real.
I happened to be scanning by (very) old messages on Facebook and was reminded of old comrades, who
deleted me, and ancient situations I was in that seemed soo important
back then,
but they weren't never important.
There is no such thing as stress or drama.
I, personally, dont give life to events and situations.
This is going to be a short entry,
I gotta take a shower.
Later Days
There is no room for slacking in life.
The most ironic and utterly dissatisfying aspect of life is that people who
don't deserve success will probably get it.
Doesnt matter whether they sell drugs in college
or happen to just catch a big break by chance.
I dont know why Im on this topic for real.
I happened to be scanning by (very) old messages on Facebook and was reminded of old comrades, who
deleted me, and ancient situations I was in that seemed soo important
back then,
but they weren't never important.
There is no such thing as stress or drama.
I, personally, dont give life to events and situations.
This is going to be a short entry,
I gotta take a shower.
Later Days
Monday, November 8, 2010
Villians
Im a bad guy.
I just turned 18 and Im in college.
I walk the halls alone and barely speak in class.
People dont know my name, but
they know my tattoos and the bracelets I wear.
Females here aren't important to me
and Im not important to females.
Brand names arent my forte,
yet I still dress risque
with what I got...
and its growing all the time.
Im a bad guy because Im not
having sex in college
and what I tell people about my activities
back home is the truth.
Im soooo wrong because I dont lie.
To anyone.
Please,
bash my name and make up stories about me because Im doing college all wrong.
I should be hooking up with a bad bitch every night,
forgetting my friends and family in Baltimore with ease,
and losing myself to this newfound freedom,
right?
These are the rules for everyone who goes to college out of state..
right?
Well what if I said I broke the rules?
Would you even believe me?
Probably not.
Im a villian because I dont fit in to the general body of those
who have done what I haven't.
So if Im a villian,
then where are your heroes?
Who's going to stop me from breaking the mold because
to some back home,
Im a big threat.
Endangering countless lives with my lack of reckless deeds and committing
savory sins that would make a nun cry.
Stop me from myself.
Please.
I beg of thee.
A different breed always puts the species in jeopardy.
Later Days
I just turned 18 and Im in college.
I walk the halls alone and barely speak in class.
People dont know my name, but
they know my tattoos and the bracelets I wear.
Females here aren't important to me
and Im not important to females.
Brand names arent my forte,
yet I still dress risque
with what I got...
and its growing all the time.
Im a bad guy because Im not
having sex in college
and what I tell people about my activities
back home is the truth.
Im soooo wrong because I dont lie.
To anyone.
Please,
bash my name and make up stories about me because Im doing college all wrong.
I should be hooking up with a bad bitch every night,
forgetting my friends and family in Baltimore with ease,
and losing myself to this newfound freedom,
right?
These are the rules for everyone who goes to college out of state..
right?
Well what if I said I broke the rules?
Would you even believe me?
Probably not.
Im a villian because I dont fit in to the general body of those
who have done what I haven't.
So if Im a villian,
then where are your heroes?
Who's going to stop me from breaking the mold because
to some back home,
Im a big threat.
Endangering countless lives with my lack of reckless deeds and committing
savory sins that would make a nun cry.
Stop me from myself.
Please.
I beg of thee.
A different breed always puts the species in jeopardy.
Later Days
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Decisions
I didn't truthfully choose to come to Norfolk State.
I was a vigilant high school senior and had already agreed to go to school for college in Florida.
I foolishly waited until a week before my deadline to send off my papers to the school, when my town was hit with a blizzard.
A bad one.
I couldnt go to school for little more than a week.
I was essentially fucked.
I didnt have a back up planned at all.
My counselor luckily enough had connections to Norfolk State and I was admitted with no problems at all.
I hadnt even seen the school until I moved in.
I was highly disappointed.
Today, my friend Natasha and I was talking about the future and how we didnt like where we were.
She helped me see I didnt belong here.
It may be a vulgar statement, but...
Im not a nigga.
I have nigga tendencies when Im angry, but overall.... I dont fit in to the stereotype.
I like rock music along with rap.
I write poetry and can be introspective when it comes to life and the world around me.
I hate polo, fades, and majority of popular african american trends.
I rap like asher roth lol.
Aside from numerous differences I can point out between my classmates and myself,
it just boiled down to the fact that Im not happy here.
I love my friends that attend NSU, dont get me wrong, but...
if Im going to be paying the government back for my college education,
shouldn't I be paying for something I enjoyed?
I am content at NSU.
I think I would be happy at ODU.
I believe that ODU is more open minded and accepting to the different people that attend the school.
In a sense, they are more "diverse" than NSU, in my mind.
So,
im transferring.
From now on,
classes will be taken more seriously (they are taken serious now, but my B's can become A's ya know)
and Im shooting for ODU sophomore year because honestly,
I rather be happy than content.
Here,
my schedule consists of:
class, gym, work-study, eat, homework, then dorm.
Every day.
Monday thru Friday.
Weekends vary, but they generally dont offer much.
I need more.
People tell me to put myself out there, but the people Im around every single day aren't open minded, in my opinion.
Not the majority.
My argument may seem heavily flawed, but its something I feel in my heart.
I was always a quirky guy.
My aura, personality, whatever it is just doesnt click here.
So I guess I have to make like my first real college decision and commit to this:
Im transferring to ODU.
Later Days
I was a vigilant high school senior and had already agreed to go to school for college in Florida.
I foolishly waited until a week before my deadline to send off my papers to the school, when my town was hit with a blizzard.
A bad one.
I couldnt go to school for little more than a week.
I was essentially fucked.
I didnt have a back up planned at all.
My counselor luckily enough had connections to Norfolk State and I was admitted with no problems at all.
I hadnt even seen the school until I moved in.
I was highly disappointed.
Today, my friend Natasha and I was talking about the future and how we didnt like where we were.
She helped me see I didnt belong here.
It may be a vulgar statement, but...
Im not a nigga.
I have nigga tendencies when Im angry, but overall.... I dont fit in to the stereotype.
I like rock music along with rap.
I write poetry and can be introspective when it comes to life and the world around me.
I hate polo, fades, and majority of popular african american trends.
I rap like asher roth lol.
Aside from numerous differences I can point out between my classmates and myself,
it just boiled down to the fact that Im not happy here.
I love my friends that attend NSU, dont get me wrong, but...
if Im going to be paying the government back for my college education,
shouldn't I be paying for something I enjoyed?
I am content at NSU.
I think I would be happy at ODU.
I believe that ODU is more open minded and accepting to the different people that attend the school.
In a sense, they are more "diverse" than NSU, in my mind.
So,
im transferring.
From now on,
classes will be taken more seriously (they are taken serious now, but my B's can become A's ya know)
and Im shooting for ODU sophomore year because honestly,
I rather be happy than content.
Here,
my schedule consists of:
class, gym, work-study, eat, homework, then dorm.
Every day.
Monday thru Friday.
Weekends vary, but they generally dont offer much.
I need more.
People tell me to put myself out there, but the people Im around every single day aren't open minded, in my opinion.
Not the majority.
My argument may seem heavily flawed, but its something I feel in my heart.
I was always a quirky guy.
My aura, personality, whatever it is just doesnt click here.
So I guess I have to make like my first real college decision and commit to this:
Im transferring to ODU.
Later Days
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Cerberus
"The plan was to drink until the pain over, but whats worse: the pain or the hangover?"-Kanye West
I've lived that plan and failed that plan countless nights.
Weekends are open doorways that lead to unforseen events
and strangers become friends under streetlights cast in eternal night,
but its all temporary.
I always go back to the weekdays and everyone I meet in the nightlife deny me
in the light.
I guess Im ugly
or they're shamed about their decisions,
whether they had control or not.
Thats just been happening here
at Norfolk.
Am I losing my bond with a time I love most
or are the people Im around not accustomed to
the unwritten taboos and rules of night?
Is there something wrong with me
or everyone else around me?
Back home, the legacy I've created was crafted from those fabeled nights..
the ones were nothing was planned,
but everything fell into place.
Is it bad that I live for this other world?
It does have a mind and heart of its own:
The Nightlife.
We smile and laugh under its influence.
We dance under its dark shine.
And I just want it to last until I pass out.
I want it to last until everyone sees how I see this lack of light.
Light a joint,
take a couple shots,
and go out into the wild.
Im in that jungle everynight,
meeting as many night animals as I can.
__________________________________________
I talk about the nightlife too much for anyones taste.
lol, i just started writing and letting my mind wander.
I always blog when its dark...
tis' a shame.
O well,
Later Days
I've lived that plan and failed that plan countless nights.
Weekends are open doorways that lead to unforseen events
and strangers become friends under streetlights cast in eternal night,
but its all temporary.
I always go back to the weekdays and everyone I meet in the nightlife deny me
in the light.
I guess Im ugly
or they're shamed about their decisions,
whether they had control or not.
Thats just been happening here
at Norfolk.
Am I losing my bond with a time I love most
or are the people Im around not accustomed to
the unwritten taboos and rules of night?
Is there something wrong with me
or everyone else around me?
Back home, the legacy I've created was crafted from those fabeled nights..
the ones were nothing was planned,
but everything fell into place.
Is it bad that I live for this other world?
It does have a mind and heart of its own:
The Nightlife.
We smile and laugh under its influence.
We dance under its dark shine.
And I just want it to last until I pass out.
I want it to last until everyone sees how I see this lack of light.
Light a joint,
take a couple shots,
and go out into the wild.
Im in that jungle everynight,
meeting as many night animals as I can.
__________________________________________
I talk about the nightlife too much for anyones taste.
lol, i just started writing and letting my mind wander.
I always blog when its dark...
tis' a shame.
O well,
Later Days
Monday, November 1, 2010
Slow down. They say you're moving too fast.
Im trying hard as I can.
Im the type of guy who really only talks to people who is around him.
I mean "around" as like walking distance and such.
I figure the friends back home I have made know that, but they dont I guess.
Im trying as hard as I can to balance school, work, college friends, family, home friends, all with one crappy, broken cell phone, but I cant.
People want time from me they used to have, but I cant give it all the time...at least not so easily, not so planned out as before.
I dont know why I do it,
but I leave people's lives and re-enter at weird times. Its an uncanny knack I've acquired, yet this isnt the case as before. My friends back home are moving on and it kinda hurts. I already knew they were going to get lives and go on adventures that dont include me, but I still reluctantly lied to myself.
They tell me slow down because I move too fast to be caught.
However, when I come back home I slow down and it seems I cant catch anyone.
Not for a hello or even a final goodbye.
Later Days
Im the type of guy who really only talks to people who is around him.
I mean "around" as like walking distance and such.
I figure the friends back home I have made know that, but they dont I guess.
Im trying as hard as I can to balance school, work, college friends, family, home friends, all with one crappy, broken cell phone, but I cant.
People want time from me they used to have, but I cant give it all the time...at least not so easily, not so planned out as before.
I dont know why I do it,
but I leave people's lives and re-enter at weird times. Its an uncanny knack I've acquired, yet this isnt the case as before. My friends back home are moving on and it kinda hurts. I already knew they were going to get lives and go on adventures that dont include me, but I still reluctantly lied to myself.
They tell me slow down because I move too fast to be caught.
However, when I come back home I slow down and it seems I cant catch anyone.
Not for a hello or even a final goodbye.
Later Days
Friday, October 29, 2010
Brothers
I dont have any blood brothers.
I was born an only child and suffered lonliness at an early age...
well,
I was aware of my lonliness at an early age.
I didnt create imaginary friends,
hold a blanket or tuck a toy underneath my sheets when I went to sleep.
When I wanted to talk to someone when my mum was working,
I talked to my myself.
I asked questions outloud.
I answered those same questions in my mind.
No one taught me about females,
shaving,
a whole bunch of crud I should've known.
In my younger times, I was more interested in playing video games and escaping to a televised reality where I had comrades, foes, and an objective to complete.
Even when approaching high school, I had barely made a true grounded friendship (aside from Aaron J. in middle school) that I would sacrifice all my dreams for.
Then Gary came along.
Gary Forward is that nigga lol.
Thats my number one brother to death and beyond.
He was the first.
I now have a couple of guys I consider bro's,
but he is my right hand because
Im left handed.
This guy taught me about everything I should have known and things I shouldn't have.
That isnt the aspect of our brotherhood that I cherish the most though...
the shining aspect of our history to me is that while he taught me a lot of things,
he also allowed me to teach him too.
Coming from a home where mum was never home,
I crafted my own rules and code of conduct that I live by today.
I exposed Gary to my life and views.
No matter how insane or drastically sadistic I came across,
he didnt judged.
He wasn't a brother that I viewed in a godly stance,
ya know?
The older sibling that you look up to and hear stories of thier greatness.
He was human.
We saw eye to eye,
we never looked down or above one another.
I loved that.
In a world where everyone wants to be the best, the greatest,
just the top dog...
we were content being underdogs who occasionally came out on top.
I only remember one problem we had in our entire history,
yet looking back...
that shit was real dum.
Gary helped me create the night life I embrace today.
No one lived like us,
at least no one I ever met.
Staying out till sunrise,
meeting countless people,
and trying mostly every drink that was present.
We never knew drama,
our cell phones were always packed with numbers,
and no matter the end event of the night
we had a good couple of laughs.
I love that guy to death.
I wont say no homo either because this is no where near that gutter.
That guy is my brother.
First and greatest.
He will be my best man at my wedding,
he will the uncle to my first child,
and lastly,
he's always just gonna be.
I wish him the best forever and today with no second thoughts.
Cheers nigga,
we made it to college.
Heres to more years and
crazier bitches to come!
Later Days
I was born an only child and suffered lonliness at an early age...
well,
I was aware of my lonliness at an early age.
I didnt create imaginary friends,
hold a blanket or tuck a toy underneath my sheets when I went to sleep.
When I wanted to talk to someone when my mum was working,
I talked to my myself.
I asked questions outloud.
I answered those same questions in my mind.
No one taught me about females,
shaving,
a whole bunch of crud I should've known.
In my younger times, I was more interested in playing video games and escaping to a televised reality where I had comrades, foes, and an objective to complete.
Even when approaching high school, I had barely made a true grounded friendship (aside from Aaron J. in middle school) that I would sacrifice all my dreams for.
Then Gary came along.
Gary Forward is that nigga lol.
Thats my number one brother to death and beyond.
He was the first.
I now have a couple of guys I consider bro's,
but he is my right hand because
Im left handed.
This guy taught me about everything I should have known and things I shouldn't have.
That isnt the aspect of our brotherhood that I cherish the most though...
the shining aspect of our history to me is that while he taught me a lot of things,
he also allowed me to teach him too.
Coming from a home where mum was never home,
I crafted my own rules and code of conduct that I live by today.
I exposed Gary to my life and views.
No matter how insane or drastically sadistic I came across,
he didnt judged.
He wasn't a brother that I viewed in a godly stance,
ya know?
The older sibling that you look up to and hear stories of thier greatness.
He was human.
We saw eye to eye,
we never looked down or above one another.
I loved that.
In a world where everyone wants to be the best, the greatest,
just the top dog...
we were content being underdogs who occasionally came out on top.
I only remember one problem we had in our entire history,
yet looking back...
that shit was real dum.
Gary helped me create the night life I embrace today.
No one lived like us,
at least no one I ever met.
Staying out till sunrise,
meeting countless people,
and trying mostly every drink that was present.
We never knew drama,
our cell phones were always packed with numbers,
and no matter the end event of the night
we had a good couple of laughs.
I love that guy to death.
I wont say no homo either because this is no where near that gutter.
That guy is my brother.
First and greatest.
He will be my best man at my wedding,
he will the uncle to my first child,
and lastly,
he's always just gonna be.
I wish him the best forever and today with no second thoughts.
Cheers nigga,
we made it to college.
Heres to more years and
crazier bitches to come!
Later Days
 |
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Animal in Me
She loves me
and I love her too.
Please dont question my knowledge on the fact of these feelings...
I dont throw words of such caliber around with ease.
They are mostly kept somewhere underground,
buried beneath past ghosts and false hopes I've had.
Somewhere in my heart,
somewhere in my mind,
I know you'll be a memory I keep living time after time.
Green grass under moon-lit nights,
summer breeze hitting your hair,
yeah.
I looked into your eyes with
no fear,
kissing those lips with slow embrace.
Why rush a good thing?
I hope you remember me
cause I remember you,
but that was the past
and theres so much more I can tell you
about now.
Now,
I wind straight hair,
braids,
whatever the hair-do may be
around my fist,
clinched,
pulling too hard,
her head jerking back to reveal it isn't
you.
The summer breeze is an endless heatwave
in the bedroom.
My teeth carry pain as I bite
and lick
once soft necks,
with gentle, animalistic precision.
Marks left behind aren't just pleasure spots,
they're brands.
I was here.
You helped me stay afloat another time ago...
some time too far to recall.
Now I just drown out all my anger in pussy pools.
And all the screams and scratches
dont amount to the pain in losing you,
but I hope you remember me
cause Im slowly starting to forget you.
Later Days
Sunday, October 24, 2010
18
I felt the same,
but everything had changed...
Under dim lights with music pounding in my ears,
surrounded by classmates and strangers from near and wide,
I felt the same.
My skull was a wreck,
far from level-headed and I was trying to
look straight, but my vision was blurry.
We had mixed dark and lights before heading out,
our intentions plain and formally sane for college kids:
lets forget this shit.
We are here now,
not looking ahead....
whats the point ya know?
So we tried to forget the oncoming hour(s) with a glass or 2 before heading out.
I had 5.
I felt the same,
but everything changed.
Clocks struck 12
and I wasnt the kid I wanted to be anymore.
Im ready for it.
Its a war and nirvana all in one.
I have friends and enemies coming at me on both sides and I cant say Im not prepared,
because it wouldnt matter if I was or wasnt.
Im 18 and I feel the same.
5'8,
165 pounds,
still mixed,
still me,
yet its not "me" I was ever worried about.
Im not the change I fear and love;
its everything else.
Its what I have to start doing now,
what I can't do anymore...
pshh, bring it.
I dont really have any regrets.
I dont live with those in a large capacity.
Under dim lights and near drunk thoughts,
I know I haven't truly arrived to where Im suppose to go...
Thats fine though.
At the end of the day,
your always on your way.
So Im 18 and its showtime.
Those thrills people consider taboo,
the thoughts that people wish they could do,
are always on me.
Cause I'll live them out with ease.
Im not really saying goodbye to anything with this new age
because there is way more hellos present.
_____________________________________________
I didnt really do anything today for my birthday
and Im content actually.
I just want to look out my dorm room window,
all the way up on the 9th floor,
and kiss a star.
I want to thank God that I never really had to wish on those stars,
for anything.
They served as reminders that Im not alone nor afraid of what the future holds.
I considered myself a different breed with the twinkles of the sky.
I want my God to know that I did take out the time
to look at them.
No rush,
no pacing.
Just look.
There are many worlds,
but they all share the same sky.
That one sky,
right out the window.
Im happy with being 18 and knowing this because
I know I can't be the only one.
Someone else is turning 18,
someone else is anxious to tomorrow's plans,
and someone else is out there looking right in the sky.
At a star,
at me.
Aren't we all just stars trying to shine?
No one understands me, but if you even got a little hang
at what Im trying to say...
then you get why I said its showtime.
but everything had changed...
Under dim lights with music pounding in my ears,
surrounded by classmates and strangers from near and wide,
I felt the same.
My skull was a wreck,
far from level-headed and I was trying to
look straight, but my vision was blurry.
We had mixed dark and lights before heading out,
our intentions plain and formally sane for college kids:
lets forget this shit.
We are here now,
not looking ahead....
whats the point ya know?
So we tried to forget the oncoming hour(s) with a glass or 2 before heading out.
I had 5.
I felt the same,
but everything changed.
Clocks struck 12
and I wasnt the kid I wanted to be anymore.
Im ready for it.
Its a war and nirvana all in one.
I have friends and enemies coming at me on both sides and I cant say Im not prepared,
because it wouldnt matter if I was or wasnt.
Im 18 and I feel the same.
5'8,
165 pounds,
still mixed,
still me,
yet its not "me" I was ever worried about.
Im not the change I fear and love;
its everything else.
Its what I have to start doing now,
what I can't do anymore...
pshh, bring it.
I dont really have any regrets.
I dont live with those in a large capacity.
Under dim lights and near drunk thoughts,
I know I haven't truly arrived to where Im suppose to go...
Thats fine though.
At the end of the day,
your always on your way.
So Im 18 and its showtime.
Those thrills people consider taboo,
the thoughts that people wish they could do,
are always on me.
Cause I'll live them out with ease.
Im not really saying goodbye to anything with this new age
because there is way more hellos present.
_____________________________________________
I didnt really do anything today for my birthday
and Im content actually.
I just want to look out my dorm room window,
all the way up on the 9th floor,
and kiss a star.
I want to thank God that I never really had to wish on those stars,
for anything.
They served as reminders that Im not alone nor afraid of what the future holds.
I considered myself a different breed with the twinkles of the sky.
I want my God to know that I did take out the time
to look at them.
No rush,
no pacing.
Just look.
There are many worlds,
but they all share the same sky.
That one sky,
right out the window.
Im happy with being 18 and knowing this because
I know I can't be the only one.
Someone else is turning 18,
someone else is anxious to tomorrow's plans,
and someone else is out there looking right in the sky.
At a star,
at me.
Aren't we all just stars trying to shine?
No one understands me, but if you even got a little hang
at what Im trying to say...
then you get why I said its showtime.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Boom Boom Clap
Today was legit.
Im just waiting for my check from work-study so I can start saving for summer OC 2011 with my homeboys.
On a more annoying tidbit,
I dont know why this stuck in my head today, but this chick named Cherelle, who was attracted to me at school, gave me a memorable line that seems small to eavesdroppers, but so
so
much more to me.
I was in the girl's lobby waiting for my pal to come down from the dorm and a friend was at the door, trying to get in, but her card was out of her reach.
I knew this friend,
we kid around with each other and say playful jabs to each other with no ill-feelings to the words we spewed, cause we got vicious sometimes.
So I didn't open the door.
I let her do it herself.
Cherelle says, "Be a gentlemen and open the door. You so reckless and don't do nothing. "
By this time, she's already in the door, but I turned to Cherelle and said,
"She got it."
Then she turned and uttered this phrase, covered in broken glass and tar,
"Oh my gosh, you aint right. Goodbye", with a haughty turn and roll of eyes.
"You aint gotta come at me like that ma"..my reply
Goodbye? What the hell?
You fail to see the shining aspect of my personality that calms storms and inflicts wounds:
I dont care about your opinion nor you.
I know you probably reading this and thinking this wasnt big, but its one of those things that you have to be there to feel a way about it.
How can she dismiss someone who isnt in vying for her eyes or, to a less extent, even acknowledgement of her presence?
This chick comes around me and crud,
says here hi's,
grabs her hug if she feeling bold,
and generally is trying to get me to chase her.
This brings me to the topic in my head for the day.
Females fail day after day when they group me with these hungry dogs of Norfolk state.
If I gotta be an animal to them,
please...
call me a wolf.
Solitary, refined, more aggressive,
yet eat only when I wanna.
I dont chase,
I rarely hunt,
and you want to tell me goodbye?
I wanted to ask her when did I EVER say
hello.
Let me tell you about what I see everyday:
Numerous niggas wearing brand name tags trying to catch her (speaking in a sense of the female population on campus) attention,
shitload of daps to more niggas who are brainwashed to the highest extent,
and my favorite part...
the attention fix.
I never seen soo many hugs given out on an Intervention episode.
They need a hug from every female they know.
Ok, I get it...
you known on campus dawg, cool.
How ya GPA though?
Im never gonna say Im the shit,
cause Im not....I honestly think im a piece of shit.
Modesty comes with its faults,
but still....
its degrading.
Females hawk all the time that they dont need a man.
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E
That old song, but it rings true.
So are guys the opposite?
Are we soo dependent on the attention of females that we faithfully
drug ourselves with their half-hearted (or whole) smiles and miniscule chit-chat before
embarking on to our next class?
Its the fix that I see on campus
and I cant tell nothing but the truth.
Theres a large divide between being friendly and being disillusioned.
I do admit,
Im bashing a side I dont know anything of.
I keep to my kin and myself.
Im not all over the place,
Im not popular,
Im uncanny in all its forms.
I never was able to conform to cliches and cliques, so
I guess all the ladies really do say goodbye to me...
even if they never knew me because
I didn't say hello.
Anti-social?
Perhaps...
but I got my anti-drug.
Dogs chase moving cars,
not realizing cars can kill them.
Later Days
Im just waiting for my check from work-study so I can start saving for summer OC 2011 with my homeboys.
On a more annoying tidbit,
I dont know why this stuck in my head today, but this chick named Cherelle, who was attracted to me at school, gave me a memorable line that seems small to eavesdroppers, but so
so
much more to me.
I was in the girl's lobby waiting for my pal to come down from the dorm and a friend was at the door, trying to get in, but her card was out of her reach.
I knew this friend,
we kid around with each other and say playful jabs to each other with no ill-feelings to the words we spewed, cause we got vicious sometimes.
So I didn't open the door.
I let her do it herself.
Cherelle says, "Be a gentlemen and open the door. You so reckless and don't do nothing. "
By this time, she's already in the door, but I turned to Cherelle and said,
"She got it."
Then she turned and uttered this phrase, covered in broken glass and tar,
"Oh my gosh, you aint right. Goodbye", with a haughty turn and roll of eyes.
"You aint gotta come at me like that ma"..my reply
Goodbye? What the hell?
You fail to see the shining aspect of my personality that calms storms and inflicts wounds:
I dont care about your opinion nor you.
I know you probably reading this and thinking this wasnt big, but its one of those things that you have to be there to feel a way about it.
How can she dismiss someone who isnt in vying for her eyes or, to a less extent, even acknowledgement of her presence?
This chick comes around me and crud,
says here hi's,
grabs her hug if she feeling bold,
and generally is trying to get me to chase her.
This brings me to the topic in my head for the day.
Females fail day after day when they group me with these hungry dogs of Norfolk state.
If I gotta be an animal to them,
please...
call me a wolf.
Solitary, refined, more aggressive,
yet eat only when I wanna.
I dont chase,
I rarely hunt,
and you want to tell me goodbye?
I wanted to ask her when did I EVER say
hello.
Let me tell you about what I see everyday:
Numerous niggas wearing brand name tags trying to catch her (speaking in a sense of the female population on campus) attention,
shitload of daps to more niggas who are brainwashed to the highest extent,
and my favorite part...
the attention fix.
I never seen soo many hugs given out on an Intervention episode.
They need a hug from every female they know.
Ok, I get it...
you known on campus dawg, cool.
How ya GPA though?
Im never gonna say Im the shit,
cause Im not....I honestly think im a piece of shit.
Modesty comes with its faults,
but still....
its degrading.
Females hawk all the time that they dont need a man.
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E
That old song, but it rings true.
So are guys the opposite?
Are we soo dependent on the attention of females that we faithfully
drug ourselves with their half-hearted (or whole) smiles and miniscule chit-chat before
embarking on to our next class?
Its the fix that I see on campus
and I cant tell nothing but the truth.
Theres a large divide between being friendly and being disillusioned.
I do admit,
Im bashing a side I dont know anything of.
I keep to my kin and myself.
Im not all over the place,
Im not popular,
Im uncanny in all its forms.
I never was able to conform to cliches and cliques, so
I guess all the ladies really do say goodbye to me...
even if they never knew me because
I didn't say hello.
Anti-social?
Perhaps...
but I got my anti-drug.
Dogs chase moving cars,
not realizing cars can kill them.
Later Days
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Cave of Good Times
Summer nights hold tales untold.
Later Days
Monday, October 18, 2010
Your the Only Hope for Me
Im always just reduced to a memory.
Faint melodies in your head, repeating a song you want to listen to
when no ones around.
Your not ashamed of me,
I hope.
Im not the usual and in today's bright lights
its easier to conform.
But you know I didnt
and neither did you
somewhere in your heart,
somewhere in your mind.
You remember me because
I was simple.
Simply bliss.
Awful chaos.
While everyone around us died and lost sight of
what they reminisce about now,
we still lived in it.
Now I live their memories alone.
I can bring out the part of you that society repressed.
We can grow old with the youth
I give to you, but never
ever
tired.
When did you get scared?
When were you afraid to take the moment?
Dancing in Wal-Marts,
eating food with no names,
and never beating the moon to sleep.
I dont belong here.
In your head.
I shouldn't be here if you remember me.
Norfolk-Arendstville-Baltimore
Towson High-Loyola Blakefield-St. Ignatius
Parties-Parks-Homes
I made stories and took you along for the ride
when you wanted to come.
I wasn't in your past if you met me in the present, but still...
when did you lose the thrill for life?
When all the lights went out,
we lit a fire somewhere and set out.
Now your sleeping before the moon crawls from its cave in the clouds
and Im awake.
I know people haven't lived like me,
yet principles still apply:
Dont ever be to eager to grow up.
Growing up means growing old.
Stretch all this out.
Im always reduced to a memory
because people always want to look back to the good "ole" days,
when they were the ones who made those times go away.
The times and me.
Faint melodies in your head, repeating a song you want to listen to
when no ones around.
Your not ashamed of me,
I hope.
Im not the usual and in today's bright lights
its easier to conform.
But you know I didnt
and neither did you
somewhere in your heart,
somewhere in your mind.
You remember me because
I was simple.
Simply bliss.
Awful chaos.
While everyone around us died and lost sight of
what they reminisce about now,
we still lived in it.
Now I live their memories alone.
I can bring out the part of you that society repressed.
We can grow old with the youth
I give to you, but never
ever
tired.
When did you get scared?
When were you afraid to take the moment?
Dancing in Wal-Marts,
eating food with no names,
and never beating the moon to sleep.
I dont belong here.
In your head.
I shouldn't be here if you remember me.
Norfolk-Arendstville-Baltimore
Towson High-Loyola Blakefield-St. Ignatius
Parties-Parks-Homes
I made stories and took you along for the ride
when you wanted to come.
I wasn't in your past if you met me in the present, but still...
when did you lose the thrill for life?
When all the lights went out,
we lit a fire somewhere and set out.
Now your sleeping before the moon crawls from its cave in the clouds
and Im awake.
I know people haven't lived like me,
yet principles still apply:
Dont ever be to eager to grow up.
Growing up means growing old.
Stretch all this out.
Im always reduced to a memory
because people always want to look back to the good "ole" days,
when they were the ones who made those times go away.
The times and me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Good Day
3 hours of sleep,
Im operating on full blast
and feeling better than I have
before.
Breakfast...eaten
Homework...completed,
but thats not why im happy.
Its something inside my
soul, tearing apart weeks worth of dread.
Holding on for whatever its worth,
yet never knowing how priceless a sensation im having.
Maybe its rented,
maybe I own it,
doesnt matter,
its here now.
Later days
Im operating on full blast
and feeling better than I have
before.
Breakfast...eaten
Homework...completed,
but thats not why im happy.
Its something inside my
soul, tearing apart weeks worth of dread.
Holding on for whatever its worth,
yet never knowing how priceless a sensation im having.
Maybe its rented,
maybe I own it,
doesnt matter,
its here now.
Later days
Tap Dancing on the Clouds
Yeah, im not really altogether tonight for this entry.
Im going to just crack out the most interesting part of my day:
This morning I walked in the cafeteria,
by myself and with work-out attire.
I sat down with my plate of grits and oatmeal,
surrounded by strangers... classmates, but strangers none the less.
Im sitting at the table, holding a glass of milk half full and this just wasnt a day.
I felt detached,
misplaced,
frankly unconnected to the world, reality, maybe even existence as I knew it.
I compared it to being in a bar, mid-day with troubles on your mind.
I held and dranked my glass of milk, secretly
(just secretly)
hoping it would turn into gin.
Im not a drunkard...the transformation and setting served as more than what it looks.
Im not at this point in my life yet.
I dont have it made or even
messy.
I look for escapes because I deserve them.
So my glass is my crystal ball
and I can look back in time briefly.
See where I turned wrong
Assess past mistakes
and with a faint hope of taking in the joys I once had down with my gulp.
Im holding onto false words and people's (and my own) mistakes
just trying,
trying so hard to take in what I cherish most.
So I sit and replay random memories...milk in hand
Im in a mental bar,
from which I crafted with boards of regrets.
Financed on heartbreaks
Occupied by people who change my view of humans.
I thought of this in 30 minutes,
plate in front of me.
It may seem weird, but this was the most interesting part of my day: The Mental Bar
Im going to just crack out the most interesting part of my day:
This morning I walked in the cafeteria,
by myself and with work-out attire.
I sat down with my plate of grits and oatmeal,
surrounded by strangers... classmates, but strangers none the less.
Im sitting at the table, holding a glass of milk half full and this just wasnt a day.
I felt detached,
misplaced,
frankly unconnected to the world, reality, maybe even existence as I knew it.
I compared it to being in a bar, mid-day with troubles on your mind.
I held and dranked my glass of milk, secretly
(just secretly)
hoping it would turn into gin.
Im not a drunkard...the transformation and setting served as more than what it looks.
Im not at this point in my life yet.
I dont have it made or even
messy.
I look for escapes because I deserve them.
So my glass is my crystal ball
and I can look back in time briefly.
See where I turned wrong
Assess past mistakes
and with a faint hope of taking in the joys I once had down with my gulp.
Im holding onto false words and people's (and my own) mistakes
just trying,
trying so hard to take in what I cherish most.
So I sit and replay random memories...milk in hand
Im in a mental bar,
from which I crafted with boards of regrets.
Financed on heartbreaks
Occupied by people who change my view of humans.
I thought of this in 30 minutes,
plate in front of me.
It may seem weird, but this was the most interesting part of my day: The Mental Bar
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thats the one place we both know, a hole.
Weather is sunny, damn near hot.
I love it.
Heat completes me and if I could control the weather, it would be eternal summer. I really do believe weather affects our moods, so I try my best to stay warm. A warm Dominick, is a happy Dominick (ew, third person speech).
Aside from that, I really am considering to start a memoir...I can remember a lot of my past ranging all the way back to preschool and such. It would be cool to visit cherished and repressed moments from the dark orners of my mind. Funny part of it all is that Im still making new chapters (dont mean to get cliched with the metaphors).
Got a party tonight and Im ready to let loose before the throngs of midterm exams wrap me in stress, but its never really stressful, just experience.
These are the memories I want to keep, whether negative or positive.
On a completely different note, I think I need to expand this blogg. I didnt want this to get big at first, but I dont think I would mind followers and even comments at this time. I dont want to be a frantic pest who constantly updates his facebook status with a blog link, obviously yelling for attention. I just want gradual growth I suppose...Im not sure completely on this matter.
Lastly, I reluctantly await my birthday.
The government awaits another number to add to their rank of drones, but I wont let them get the best of me.
18 years...
this poison,
this cure,
and I dont even know how to do taxes! lol
Life is so constant it makes me laugh sometimes, but thats why you cant beat it I suppose.
I mean, how do you ever beat a question bigger than the answer?
Later Days.
I love it.
Heat completes me and if I could control the weather, it would be eternal summer. I really do believe weather affects our moods, so I try my best to stay warm. A warm Dominick, is a happy Dominick (ew, third person speech).
Aside from that, I really am considering to start a memoir...I can remember a lot of my past ranging all the way back to preschool and such. It would be cool to visit cherished and repressed moments from the dark orners of my mind. Funny part of it all is that Im still making new chapters (dont mean to get cliched with the metaphors).
Got a party tonight and Im ready to let loose before the throngs of midterm exams wrap me in stress, but its never really stressful, just experience.
These are the memories I want to keep, whether negative or positive.
On a completely different note, I think I need to expand this blogg. I didnt want this to get big at first, but I dont think I would mind followers and even comments at this time. I dont want to be a frantic pest who constantly updates his facebook status with a blog link, obviously yelling for attention. I just want gradual growth I suppose...Im not sure completely on this matter.
Lastly, I reluctantly await my birthday.
The government awaits another number to add to their rank of drones, but I wont let them get the best of me.
18 years...
this poison,
this cure,
and I dont even know how to do taxes! lol
Life is so constant it makes me laugh sometimes, but thats why you cant beat it I suppose.
I mean, how do you ever beat a question bigger than the answer?
Later Days.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Im A Bad Guy
So... I dont really know what it is with me and certain people.
Im a simple person.
Im about as complex as a rubix cube with all blue squares.
I think this blog is a cool thing. I dont voice my opinions and feelings in such an organized fashion as this. My feelings are mapped out in old songs I wrote and new poems I write when I feel like it. I like my blog because I can write whatever I want and its all relevant to me.
I can't honestly analyze all my interactions with the people I have come across in my whole life, but what I do know is I dont have automatic enemies.
Im friendly...I think, but really I know Im sarcastic and jab jokes at my friends because thats what I do. I love my friends because they accept (and sometimes even love) my weird, crazy, dum, clever, etc. ass.
I find it utterly ridiculous that people who arent on my good side or people who I dont even know exist try to frame me for worthless acts.
If you feel soo compelled to flaunt my blog out and create gossip with what you see on here, then w.e. do it. I like views nigga.
Because all this stuff you see here are facts, why would I lie on MY blog? Just remember, you cant infer with what you dont have. I put up facts so you wont have to guess. Furthermore to the lovely sluts at Garrison Forest who roam this page waiting for me to mess up, just know the focal point of this picture im painting:
This is my blog, I can write whatever the fuck I want.
Free speech is a b*tch
Im a simple person.
Im about as complex as a rubix cube with all blue squares.
I think this blog is a cool thing. I dont voice my opinions and feelings in such an organized fashion as this. My feelings are mapped out in old songs I wrote and new poems I write when I feel like it. I like my blog because I can write whatever I want and its all relevant to me.
I can't honestly analyze all my interactions with the people I have come across in my whole life, but what I do know is I dont have automatic enemies.
Im friendly...I think, but really I know Im sarcastic and jab jokes at my friends because thats what I do. I love my friends because they accept (and sometimes even love) my weird, crazy, dum, clever, etc. ass.
I find it utterly ridiculous that people who arent on my good side or people who I dont even know exist try to frame me for worthless acts.
If you feel soo compelled to flaunt my blog out and create gossip with what you see on here, then w.e. do it. I like views nigga.
Because all this stuff you see here are facts, why would I lie on MY blog? Just remember, you cant infer with what you dont have. I put up facts so you wont have to guess. Furthermore to the lovely sluts at Garrison Forest who roam this page waiting for me to mess up, just know the focal point of this picture im painting:
This is my blog, I can write whatever the fuck I want.
Free speech is a b*tch
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I'll be your detonator
The rain here sucks a lot. Ive never been in this many puddles in my life, but I guess college is where you experience new things. Aside from boring chit-chat about the weather, Im still out of place here...and I think Im actually content with it. In highschool, I basically had everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I worked from the bottom and had a great 2 year run before I left. Here...well, Im at the bottom again: the serious bottom. I guess I rather be unknown now than dread infamy, when it comes. Who knows, maybe it wont come here at all... majority of people here are stuck in a bubble of consciousness that manifests itself as arrogance, conceitedness, and borderline vanity to some extent. Im not trying to figure myself out, but I cant say the same for some of my freshmen peers. Its this space between insane and insecure that I cant understand with my views...but Im human. Im allowed to make mistakes. Im just happy Im having the courage to live because truthfully anyone can die.
Later Days
Later Days
Monday, September 13, 2010
3/22/2010
"Dear Benee,
Hey, its Dominick...that crazy nigga. I want you to know that it is 11:53 pm right now and I've been thinking about your departure from Maryland. Im not one for talking on the spot, but I am well off with my writing skills, so this is why I didn't say this last night. I know you'll be elated to leave this wasteland, but I wont. You already know Im the type of guy that pulls things off, no matter how far success may seem and yet its breaking my heart to know that keeping you here is one task that I can't accomplish. We’ve been through so many things, its unbelievable. If someone would of told me all the crap we would’ve went through, I might have thought twice about looking in your direction during that party at St. Tims 2 years ago; I might have reconsidered talking to you all times of the night and being utterly curious and fascinated by everything you are. Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have any regrets eh? But that’s besides the point, and its very clear to see that I live in a world of “hey, what the hell”s and “I got nothing to lose”, when it really doesn’t mean the same when mentioning you. I love you, forever and today. We tried the couple relationship thing…meh, it didn’t really work out, but Im happy to know that what we have extends far past a “title”. You are my greatest dream and worst nightmare, and I wouldn’t have it any other way because we can have the ugliest fights, the best talks, and truthfully, I can say I love you through it all. I can sleep at peace knowing that our relationship is set in stone, because the rest was written in sand. One thing your probably thinking about is “why did Dominick post this on my wall”? Well the answer is simple, I don’t give a fuck about nosy girls and jealous niggaz. If they cant understand what Im saying, then let me help them out a bit: I, Dominick Trevon “Tarzan” Hutchinson love Benee Charley (hahaha, Char-Char) Morris with every thing I am and will ever be.
Last but not least, I want nothing but the best for you wherever you go. I told you already, I will be at your wedding (even if its not me), I will be at your funeral (even if I have to dig up from through the depths of Hell to see your casket) and I will always be there regardless. Well, its about time for me to sleep cause I got to wake up tomorrow, but you keep your head up kyd. This isn’t a good bye, its just a goodnight….so night.
Sincerely,
Dominick
*Da me un beso*"
This bitch cheated on me with 5 guys, smoked crack, got kicked out school, and was the most vain person I ever met. How wrong and blind was I when I wrote this letter?
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”--Chauncey Depew
Later Days
Hey, its Dominick...that crazy nigga. I want you to know that it is 11:53 pm right now and I've been thinking about your departure from Maryland. Im not one for talking on the spot, but I am well off with my writing skills, so this is why I didn't say this last night. I know you'll be elated to leave this wasteland, but I wont. You already know Im the type of guy that pulls things off, no matter how far success may seem and yet its breaking my heart to know that keeping you here is one task that I can't accomplish. We’ve been through so many things, its unbelievable. If someone would of told me all the crap we would’ve went through, I might have thought twice about looking in your direction during that party at St. Tims 2 years ago; I might have reconsidered talking to you all times of the night and being utterly curious and fascinated by everything you are. Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have any regrets eh? But that’s besides the point, and its very clear to see that I live in a world of “hey, what the hell”s and “I got nothing to lose”, when it really doesn’t mean the same when mentioning you. I love you, forever and today. We tried the couple relationship thing…meh, it didn’t really work out, but Im happy to know that what we have extends far past a “title”. You are my greatest dream and worst nightmare, and I wouldn’t have it any other way because we can have the ugliest fights, the best talks, and truthfully, I can say I love you through it all. I can sleep at peace knowing that our relationship is set in stone, because the rest was written in sand. One thing your probably thinking about is “why did Dominick post this on my wall”? Well the answer is simple, I don’t give a fuck about nosy girls and jealous niggaz. If they cant understand what Im saying, then let me help them out a bit: I, Dominick Trevon “Tarzan” Hutchinson love Benee Charley (hahaha, Char-Char) Morris with every thing I am and will ever be.
Last but not least, I want nothing but the best for you wherever you go. I told you already, I will be at your wedding (even if its not me), I will be at your funeral (even if I have to dig up from through the depths of Hell to see your casket) and I will always be there regardless. Well, its about time for me to sleep cause I got to wake up tomorrow, but you keep your head up kyd. This isn’t a good bye, its just a goodnight….so night.
Sincerely,
Dominick
*Da me un beso*"
This bitch cheated on me with 5 guys, smoked crack, got kicked out school, and was the most vain person I ever met. How wrong and blind was I when I wrote this letter?
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”--Chauncey Depew
Later Days
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Everything that matters breaks in Two
Im trying to gather up my personal demons. Thats been my daily task at this point. Been a couple of weeks, but hey... Im not sweating it, no one reads this crap anyway. Aside from that obvious fact, Im starting to become heavily detached from reality on the weekends and I enjoy it soo much that my friends had a mini-intervention for me. It made me smile because I realized that they really care about me, but they also worry too much.
Here and there, Im lapsing in and out of fear of this getting old game. Its no need for me to even delve into that matter; ya either go through with it or die young. I 've also caught myself writing some poems today in the rain... I havent written in a long time either. Im glad I randomly got back into it. Blah blah blah, I miss people, blah blah blah, I want to drive MY car again, blah blah....teenage angst at its best.
Later Days
Here and there, Im lapsing in and out of fear of this getting old game. Its no need for me to even delve into that matter; ya either go through with it or die young. I 've also caught myself writing some poems today in the rain... I havent written in a long time either. Im glad I randomly got back into it. Blah blah blah, I miss people, blah blah blah, I want to drive MY car again, blah blah....teenage angst at its best.
Later Days
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hey World
Well, Im here. Its taken 6 years of public education, 6 years of private schooling, and 17 years of memories to get here: college. This is the place that's suppose to make me from what I heard...
"The best years of your life" is what some crackpot told me, but I haven't seen the hype at all. There are many worlds, but they all share the same sky. I'm starting to see that now..I think, ya know? You probably don't. I'm writing this first post for a grade and I'm guessing I'll probably get a B. I tend to wing the things most important in my life. Oh well, cheers to another 4 years of books, tuition, and stress that will rack my brain... now, where's my drink?
Later Days
"The best years of your life" is what some crackpot told me, but I haven't seen the hype at all. There are many worlds, but they all share the same sky. I'm starting to see that now..I think, ya know? You probably don't. I'm writing this first post for a grade and I'm guessing I'll probably get a B. I tend to wing the things most important in my life. Oh well, cheers to another 4 years of books, tuition, and stress that will rack my brain... now, where's my drink?
Later Days
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