Grandma

Thank God for the legion of Facebook friends I have or else I wouldn't have known that Sunday was Mother's Day.
To each and everyone of those status updates and Instagram posts, I humbly give thanks.

I had to work, so I couldn't travel home, but I called everyone

While at work, I thought about my grandmother and had to hold it in

I hadn't thought about her in so long and since I crashed the car I used in back home,
I haven't had the opportunity to revisit her old home or gravesite

I'm going to change that when I go to Dominique's (a friend) on the 22nd

My mind went from her to the idea of physicality, memories, and how death robs us of both in time

When I try, I can remember her face and voice
She was like my mother, but nicer and more sane

I can smell the biscuits she used to cook for me during the holidays
The same biscuits that tasted perfect even when burnt

I can hear her disembodied voice saying "I love you Trevon"
and
"Here's $2, go to the corner store and get us something sweet"

I remember one of my first Christmas celebrations at her house
Exploring that place in my youth, discovering something different each time
So many things

Everyone smiled there and I can only remember one bad time in that house
But due to our mortality and a doctor's misdiagnose, she's been gone for a very long time

And it's been years since I've revisited any of those memories

Her, my uncle, and my other uncle
Soon me, my friends, my family
All of you

I used to get so shaken as a child whenever I passed by a cemetery,  
now not so much

I barely sigh at the sight nor fully entertain the thought of where we are all headed
I'm here today with my memories and that's more than I could ever want because when I look back,
I have to try to find the bad moments, not good ones

Fine by me

Reducing whoever you are and whoever you were to a smile on my face

Fine by me

Later Days, Longer Nights